Don't Let Me Go

Welcome to Beacon Hills High School

As the bell screeched and everyone ran to their first period classes, I stayed cowered in the bathroom. I slowly breathed through my nose and out my mouth like they always teach you to do but it was no use. I couldn't breathe. Not after I saw Scott walking in alone at school and Stiles avoiding him. Not after Romeo walked up to me and called me "Sweetcakes" again. Not after everyone was looking at me like I was a stray dog you find in a park. 

I couldn't get their voices out of my head. I felt like I was on that sidewalk again.

"Hey baby wanna have a good time?"

"Yeah she looks like a wild one, right Fred?"

I slammed my head against the wall tiles trying to make them shut up. Stop it. Stop it. Stop!

"We can make you feel good.. I bet you've never even been touched."

My throat closed up even further and as I gasped for breath, I stumbled out the bathroom door. I couldn't see anything as I collapsed on the floor by the lockers. I felt my heart pumping against my chest faster and faster as I lost all sense of where I was. 

"Relax, sweetcakes."

The fluorescent lighting of Beacon Hills seemed to turn off as my vision went black and then back again. Everything was hazy. Even my memories of their faces were hazy. I didn't even realize I was crying until I felt a teardrop on my hand.

I felt like I had been here for hours when I heard a voice call my name. Oh no. Now I had an audience to my anxiety attack. They'll probably just tell me to just breathe and calm down. No one fucking understands that anxiety isn't just me freaking out. If my mom were her she'd probably tell me to suck it up.

"Allison! Oh god. Are you okay??" 

Of course I'm not you idiot!

"Sorry sorry! Ugh! Umm... okay okay okay."

Wait did I say that out loud? 

"Are you having an anxiety attack? Is it from your PTSD?" Stiles' voice finally registed in my head.

Oh of course! He would know what PTSD was he-

Holy shit I'm going to die.

"I-I... c-c-can't b-bre-eathe." I chocked out.

"Focus on my voice. Just my voice. You can do it Allison. Don't listen to anything else just my voice," I felt him squeeze my hand, "Open your eyes. Look at me please."

I forced my eyes open and I felt a little better. However I still felt paralyzed on the ground and Stiles' eyes were the only thing keeping me from feeling like the tile under me was the sidewalk.

"That's it. You can do it. Your hands aren't even shaking anymore. Allison you are so strong. You can do this. Try to forget those terrible guys- including me. Focus on how much you hate me now if that helps. Allison you can do this. Please breathe for me." Stiles spouted out words desperately.

"What's wrong with her?!" Scott is suddenly in front of me. My eyes widen. Why would he come? He didn't care about me anymore.

"Anxiety attack. She's getting better. Come on, Allison. Focus on my voice." 

"Excuse me, she should focus on my voice. I'm the one who has been here all this time for her. Allison, pull out your locket. Come on. Focus on my voice."

I felt my eyes cross as I pulled out the familiar warm metal and open and close the clasp back forth. I can't believe both Scott and Stiles were in front of me right now. Why?

"Nah me and boys would rather just fuck ya and you better not scream or we might just mark up that pretty little face of yours."

"Allison, you can do this! Please." Scott took my other hand into his and squeezed as my hand started shaking even harder. 

"I don't think I can."

How could I calm down when his voice was one of the ones screaming in my head.

"...You just ruin my life over and over a-again.”

Screaming I push back Scott and suddenly feel like the temperature has increased by 100 degrees. 

"Allison!" Stiles holds me up as my entire body shakes. Although I felt like I was breathing through a straw, Stiles' touch expanded that straw slightly. 

Scott looked at us both with an angry look before settling back in front of me with concern. 

"Allison. Forget what happened between us. That doesn't matter. Just try to breathe." Scott whispered

"She is breathing." Stiles snapped.

I can't do this. I-I c-can't. I spring up from the floor and try to escape as Stiles grabs me, "No no no. You can't run it'll make it worse. Here sit. Please."

"Just calm down Allison. There's nothing to worry about." Scott said.

"Don't tell her to calm down! You never tell me to do that with my attacks so shut up! You're not helping!"

"G-guys p-p-please.... stop." I whispered.

"Allison. Can you wiggle your toes?" Stiles asked like I was an idiot. Of course I could.

Looking at my feet, I tried to move my toes but the more I tried the harder it became. Why can't I move my toes!!??

"You can do it. Focus in moving your feet. Come on. You can move them." Stiles encouraged.

I groan in frustration as my feet stay paralyzed on the floor. I wish I had listened to that awful therapist when she told me I need to think of something to do when I was having an anxiety attack. 

"It will help. Trust me. Move your toes." 

I released all the voices from my head and instantly felt my heart rate slow. Feeling my feet come back to life I slowly twitched my feet. My breathing came back to normal as I was able to move my toes and then slowly my legs, until my whole body was mine again.

"H-How did you know?" 

"You're kidding right? Well once you jumped up all your adrenaline left your system and you got worse. I had to get you to focus on moving so that you'd snap out of it." Stiles replied as he pulled me up from the floor.

"Thank you." My legs were still shaking a little as we walked to the office.

"Scott?" I asked looking around.

"Yeah I'm still here. I should probably go back to History though. Stiles can take care of you better than I can."

"D-Don't say that. I'm sorry I pushed you. I wasn't really thinking. You know how important you are to me... even now." I whispered.

He nodded as he walked away briskly leaving me alone with Stiles.

Well my first day back was turning out spectacular...

Welcome to Beacon Hills High School

~~~~~~

Hey guys! I want to know whether you guys like to read the parts about Allison reacting to what happened to her or does it annoy you guys? Personally I love to write about it because it’s a part of her now because of her PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -she’s had it but I never explicitly stated it) So it’s just something I find interesting to write but let me know! :)

Make sure to listen to the song I attached to this chapter. I think the lyrics are really good at describing how Allison is feeling right now.

What are your thoughts on Stillison? In this chapter I love it! But besides here- SCALLISON! Not very happy with the current season to Teen Wolf to be honest.

Love you!

Jess

Oh! 

Comment any songs that remind you of this story and I’ll choose my favorite to link to the next chapter AND I’ll dedicate the chapter to you! Plus I’ll answer any questions about what I have planned for this story :)