A Different Kind of Education

Chapter Twenty - Seven : Doubts

Cold air drafted across my back, waking me up from my deep sleep in Matt's arms. My unhappy growl resonates through the bedroom as I aimlessly try to grab for the blankets, accidentally smacking the warm face next to me. he let out an indignant shout and sat up, taking the blanket with him. Now I'm really annoyed and hit Matt's chest with purposeful force, causing him to exclaim louder. I couldn't stop the laughter that left my lips at the sound of his voice cracking over the curse words.

"Woman!" Matt snaps, his voice cracking once again. It only makes me laugh harder. I'm fully awake now and dying from laughter in the sheets.

"Man!" I mock him.

I'm barely recovering from the laughter when Matt turns and hugs me into the bed, tickling my sides. Apologies spew from my mouth as I try to wiggle out of his grasp. It's to early though, and I don't have the energy to fight and eventually I give up. Once Matt realizes I surrender, he halts his attack and simply lies next to me. Almost instinctively my hand rises to wind around his neck and bring his lips to mine. Matt reacts to my actions by positioning himself over me and kissing me roughly. One hand holds his neck and the other holds a handful of his shirt in desperation. Every inch of my body is practically burning with the intense desire to feel every inch of Matt. My breathing is heavy as Matt's mouth discovers the planes of my chest after slipping off my shirt.

"Matt." I gasp as his mouth attaches itself to one of my breasts. He lifts his mouth for just a moment to whisper my name.

I set my hands flat on his chest and use all of my willpower to push him away. We are both panting as we separate and stare into each others eyes, hiding no emotion. Even though my lips want nothing more than to touch Matt's again, I simply move my hands to cup his face and run my thumbs across his cheeks. my heart is in the sun as I register the way Matt's gazing at me with such adoration and get goosebumps along my skin.

"You're intoxicating." He whispers with a gentle grin.

"So are you."

"I'm glad you picked me."

"As am I, Mr. Hayes." I use his official name mockingly, making him roll his eyes at me.

"Ugh. Don't. Not in bed."

"Why not? I thought it would be fun to do a little role play."

"Oh, you're so full of shit."

"Hmm, true." I completely get out of bed, throw my shirt back on, and trot my way toward the hallway. "Be back in fifteen."

Matt's laughter is so loud I can hear it even after I shut the door to the bathroom. I take out my phone and scroll through Instagram since it's six in the evening and most people have posted their fill of prom photos. A continuous reminiscent smile stays on my face as I see all of my classmates looking utterly beautiful and handsome. To think that in a month I'd be graduating and probably never seeing any of them for a long time, if not forever.

In my journey through the Instagram feed, I stumble upon one picture that makes me drop my phone into my lap from shock. I need to take a deep breath before picking it up. On the screen is a picture of Jay and I on the top of the Empire State Building, lip locked in each others arms and the emotions I felt during that kiss rushed through my body. I didn't even realize anyone was around, but it had been the middle of the night and I was a little bit tipsy. We had just been on the roof to get some fresh air since we'd both had a bit to drink and started talking.

My hands shake as I flush and wash my hands quickly. I know that no one else made me feel as alive as Matt did, but I couldn't just ignore the part of me that craved safety and had been with Jay for more than half the school year, and how I reacted to being in close proximity of Jay. I know I need to talk to him so I knock softly on his door, aware he had just gotten home an hour or so ago.