03.23.2016
Dear Shawn,
So it's been a little while since the last time I've written to you. Right now, it's been 6 ½ hours since you've responded and yes I know how stupid it is so don't give me that look.
You don't know this, but the reason me and my last boyfriend didn't work out is because he never talked to me. He ignored me for hours and hours at a time and he never wanted to see me and I was done.
I feel like that's where we're going. You've gotten to the point where you just ignore me for hours. And I can't take this anymore. I need to bring it up with you, but I don't know how. And I can't leave you. Or at least I really don't want to. You mean too much to me, but do I mean much to you? Do you really mean it when you say forever?
I don't want to bring it up over text, but I might tonight. I think I'm going to ask you if we can FaceTime, and when you (most likely) say no, I'll tell you we need to talk. Actually no - that's a bad idea. If you say no, I'll either wait until later to bring it up or wait until tomorrow.
I hope you say yes to FaceTiming me. It's been a while since we have. I mean, you might not even respond. I'm going to say "hi love :* <3 :)" or something a little bit after you get off work at 10.
Wow okay. I know I'm overthinking this a lot, but I really want to be able to talk to you without wondering when you're going to stop responding.
I'm so fucking obsessive, I know. And I'm sorry.
I love you so so so so so so much, my love. And I don't want you to let me go. So please don't let me go ever. I don't want to ever have to leave your arms, but I know I can't stay there, so for now I'll just stay homesick.
You said no. What a fucking surprise.
