03.16.2017 11:23
Shawn,
You sat with me on the bus this morning. I don't think you really wanted to though. You don't want me anymore. You don't want to be around me. So what's the point of me being around anymore?
We're at McDonald's and I'm sitting by myself and I couldn't feel worse. You don't want to sit with me.
It doesn't feel like we're over.
It feels like you just don't want to be around me, but that's how it's been for a while.
I don't know what's going on.
I felt okay but now everything is just so shitty. Why is it so hard for you to want me?
You always text other people. You never stop texting on the bus and you ignore my texts. Why am I so difficult to talk to? I just want to be heard. I just want to be wanted. I just want to feel like someone actually genuinely cares about talking to me or being around me.
How could you just walk away from me so easily? I feel like I can't function anymore and you're so happy without me...
I don't want to live. How could I when my happiness was taken away from me?
Just fucking hug me again. Let me be with you again. I can't do this.
I want nothing more right now than to be able to sit right next to you on the bus and feel welcomed and wanted.
You need so much space that I feel like I'm miles above earth with no oxygen I can't breathe and I don't know if I want to breathe.
And don't tell me you love me as you're leaving me if you can't even look me in the eyes when you say it and you can't even show it. Actions speak louder than words.
I feel like you just completely don't care about me anymore. I could jump out the window and die and you probably wouldn't even care.
