04.11.2016
Dear Shawn,
So... We're done now, I guess... I wish it didn't have to happen, but I know I couldn't have done anything at that point to keep you from leaving.
I think I'm okay. I mean, it hasn't sunken in yet, but when it does, I know I won't be okay.
I don't feel anything today, but that's probably because I'm living in denial for now. It doesn't hurt because I won't let it. I've only told Cynthia what happened, but she could tell it was coming, so we didn't talk about it much. I'm so scared to tell anyone, because then it will be real. And I don't know if I can handle that right now.
Honestly it didn't really hurt yesterday until you took back going to Military Ball with me. I've been looking forward to it for months, but now I'm scared I'm going to show up and see your arm around someone else. I can't do that to myself, so I don't know if I'm going.
