Depression Overcoming

A letter to you, I love

I don't think I understand it yet. When I think about someone I like I don't think of anyone. But when you tell me someone broke up with you and you say that no one will ever like you, I just wanna scream that I do. I always have. It's so bad I don't even think about it unless you feel that you're unlovable. I never admitted it to myself. But I've never cared for someone so much. I've never felt so happy every time I talked to someone. I've never felt so close in a way that's more than friendship. But you'll never get it. At least with me. You've made it clear we won't ever be more. We tried a few times, and when I was about to say I think it's going great, you feel the opposite. I don't know if it's because you're embarrassed to be with me or if it'll ruin our friendship or what. But I don't care. I'm willing to risk it if you'd just fucking get that I love you. How could you be so blind not to see that you're the only one who was there for me, and that I fell for that? I guess I never even noticed. But now that I have, I've been in love with you this whole time. But you're never going to feel that way. Because I'm me. And because I'm so messed up. I know you love me as a friend. But I don't want just that. Frankly, that's probably all I'm gonna get. Because it's just me who feels this way. Just next time you know, that when you think no one likes you, I've been here this entire time, torturing myself because it's really ME who will never be liked. But hey, I guess you never get all you want in life. And I'll get over it. Just tell me one last time. It's never going to work. But then when you say that, I don't want anything to do with you until I'm over you. Until I'm not wanting you anymore. Because this is embarrassing to even tell you and I've been holding it in for so god damn long and haven't even realized yet. But just tell me, it's never going to be that way, is it?