Depression Overcoming

I Know That Fake Smile...

I see your fake smile. Because believe me, darling, I know that smile. I know what it feels like to reply, "I'm good." when someone asks you how you are. But not because you are good, because you're just so used to saying it, that you don't even thing about it anymore. You don't Even realize the question that's being asked. Your response is just so rehearsed, that it comes out with no effort. Just like that beautiful smile, darling. It breaks you hear to lie to those you love. It's so hard to tell them everything is perfectly fine. But it's even harder to tell them the truth. You don't want to be in such a vulnerable state. You can't handle that kind of pity. But you gotta believe me when I tell you, darling, you're not alone. I'm here for you. U understand that reflection you  see every night. The one you don't even recognize anymore. That same smile that you've been wearing for years to fool everyone into thinking you're fine, has finally fooled you. Just for that split second, when you look in the mirror and see that stranger smiling back at you, you believe it. You actually think you just might be happy. But then, your heart starts to hurt, your body starts to ache, your tears start to flood, and all the memories come back. You're not okay. You're not happy. You're dying from the inside out, and nobody even  bothers to notice. You feel like you're alone and everyone has given up on you. But you have to believe me, you're not alone, darling. I'm here. I'm right here holding your hand. I'm rubbing your back as you cry on my shoulder. Even if you can't see me, or hear me, I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere. Because I know what it feels like to want to just throw it all away and say, "fuck it.". I know what it feels like to think, "I'm no worth it. Nobody cares about me, and everyone leaves. So it's my turn. I'm going to be the one to leave this time, and leave them hurting and alone.". But darling, you are so incredibly worth it. Your life matters to me. Even if we've never talked, or if I don't even know your name. I'm here for you. And I care about you. I don't want you to go anywhere. Maybe I'm your best friend, maybe I'm your mother, maybe I'm your baby sister, or your father that's never home. I care about you, and I don't want you to go anywhere. I know it's tough darling, but hang in there. Do it for me. Do it for everyone who's ever told you they loved you. I'm so sorry you have to wear this fake smile every day, but stay strong, darling. Stay strong and hold on to the mystery of tomorrow <3