I'll Stick With A Cup Next Time

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Me: *walking out of Coldstone with a chocolate covered cone and salted caramel flavored ice cream with caramel topping and Twix pieces (in my world, there is no such thing as too much caramel or chocolate)*

Me: *drops all five dollars of the ice cream* Gosh dang it (so censored lol)!

Me: *bends over to pick it up because I'm a decent person*

Me: *falls over because I forgot that I was wearing a thousand-pound backpack*

Me: *forehead smashes into point of cone, successfully crushing the whole ice cream, getting it all over my face, and hurting a WHOLE FREAKING LOT*

Bystanders: *do absolutely nothing to help me*

Me: *gets up*

*ice cream is all over my face and in my hair*

*ice cream on the ground has an imprint of my face*

Me: *loses all decency and leaves the ice cream on the ground, stalking away*

Bystanders: *chuckle*

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