Just yours?

Chapter 12

Luckily, my parents never opened my door and just thought I slept in. At 10, my mom walked in and I told her I felt really sick. And that wasn't a lie, I felt so awful. Next time, I'm gonna buy my own high quality wine bottle. No more nasty bootleg liquor for me. 

It was Sunday. My parents day off from work. Didn't matter, I still couldn't go out anyways. When I went downstairs, I should have brushed my teeth first. 

"Is that alcohol I smell?" My mom said when I was talking to her.
"Nope, just my bad breath," I laughed and tried to play it off. My mom wasn't that smart.
I guess I was half-right. "Valerie, i get there is alcohol in the fridge, but that doesn't mean you can grab it. "That's funny, she thought I had raided the fridge. I didn't say anything, except I excused myself from the table and went back upstairs.
***
The rest of the day I stayed in the house painting. My parents bought me an art set when I turned 13 and they were always  getting me new markers and paints even though I never really used it anymore.
I made so many nice pictures, and one was of a sunset. I think I would give that one to Pony.

At around 5 or 6, I was pleasantly surprised at a figure at my window. Soda was here waving to me through the window. And here was I dressed in fluffy pajamas with my hair a mess, but I think we had gotten to a point where that didn't matter anymore.

"Soda! You surprised me," he claimed in and gave me a hug.
"I would kiss you but I reckon you are sick." He teased.

"Oh well, I'm an alcoholic mess. I'm surprised you visited," Soda wasn't for me seeing him while I was grounded.

"I really just need to talk about what happened last night." Soda pointed towards the door. "Are your parents home?"

"Yes they are, but they won't hear us. What even happened last night?" I asked.

"You talked about how your leaving?Talking about going to New York?" He fell back onto my bed.
"It's just talk soda. I don't know where I want to go, just not here." I looked away.

"What's wrong with Tulsa? Can't you just stay here? Why do people always walk out on me?" He complained. If he meant people as in Sandy, he needed to get over that.

"Soda, I get that Sandy walked out on you cause she got pregnant, but you don't have to take that out on me?"
"Like your any better, Valerie" Soda whispered.

" What? At least I never did anything to hurt you. Why are you so hung up on her? Is that why you came here? To tell me how much you still love Sandy? I was yelling, even though my family was in the house.

"Stop Valerie, everyone knows you and Dally like eachother! And I'm tired of it. Go screw him for all I care." Soda turned the other way going back to my window. So this is why he was so whiny, cause he thought me and dally had a thing? I couldn't believe he would think so lowly of me.

"Me and Dally? I'm sorry it's a crime to have friends. I understand if you don't trust him, but at least trust me! You're getting worked up over nothing." This was such a bad arguement, but I couldn't stop being mad any less.

"You just don't get it. You don't get what it's like to have someone walk out on you.  Sandy and I were going to get married. I just can't help but think that we could be together right now. But here I am." Soda almost seemed on the brink of tears. 

"Do you still love her? Why would you tell me that you loved me?" I pondered, waiting for an answer.
"Cause I was lying." By now I couldn't stop myself from crying. He didn't love me, and all my suspicions had been correct. I was just kidding myself when I actually thought Soda was serious.

"I was stupid thinking I could be happy after everything that has happened. I don't know valerie, where we go from here. " He looked like he was going to cry too. "Look, I regret saying those stuff about you and dally. I keep making excuses as to why we won't work. But it's my fault, not yours. It's always my fault,"  soda looked at me and put his arms around me. But everything he said just made me confused. He was broken, and did a good job of hiding it. I felt as if I had been lied to. Even though I knew what was going on, the drinking, the distance, Sandy, his parents; I chose to ignore it. I hated myself for not making Soda happy the way that Sandy did.

"Just go." I managed to say. Soda nodded and gave me a hug. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy.

"I'm sorry Valerie. Maybe I will see ya soon. We can talk more." He was uncomfortable and I couldn't bring myself to say anything else.

"I don't want to talk about this, I'm sick and I want you to leave. Just for now." I croaked out. He nodded and left. And that was that.