World Without End | Sitkolson [C]

EIGHT

JULY 12, 1899

I don't even know how I forgot about you. The last entry I made was in 1766. A lot has happened since then. Both good and bad.

I think I've moved on. But, I still don't know. I don't want to forget Ryan. His smile, his eyes... I don't want to forget any of that. But I think I need to. Not want to, need to. Even when he's gone he's still killing me. I know it isn't healthy to care for him as much as I do, but I feel that if I don't, I won't have any me left. I don't know what to do. It was fine, at first, then everything started changing. I started having dreams from when Ryan was still here and how much he would smile, how his dimples went perfectly with it... I wish he never stepped in my life but I'm glad he did.

I'm confused. Now more than ever. All I want is is his arms around me but I want to push him away at the same time.

"Ricky?"

Ricky slowly looked up, meeting Angelo's bright blue eyes.

It always made Ricky think about his own eyes. They both had the same bright blue, yet they were different in many ways. Ricky's used to be full of life whilst Angelo's were a soft, warm blue. Angelo still had his kind eyes, whereas Ricky's were dull and tired.

Not sleepless tired, but life tired. He wasn't the only one that knew.

"Hey, Ange." Ricky murmured, placing his book and pen down, his eyes then meeting the star covered sky.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, taking his place beside Ricky.

Ricky sighed, casting his eyes down, "I don't know... I don't know anymore, Ange."

"What do you mean?" He frowned, looking at his friend with concern, "Are you worried about getting hurt whilst-"

"No." Ricky shook his head, "It's all started to come back. I thought I was over him, but now... I don't know." Ricky turned to Angelo, his eyes glazed with tears, "I just want to know if he's okay, Ange. That's all."

Angelo sighed, pulling Ricky into a side hug, "Me too, Rick. Me too."

Angelo missed his best friend, who he would call his brother, more than anything. But, looking at Ricky, Angelo didn't want to even feel the amount of pain Ricky was. If anything, Ricky was the one who took it harder than any of them. He took it all at once, where as Chris and Angelo only had it bit by bit.

•|•|•

Ryan walked down the hall and to Mike's room, knocking before entering.

"Mike, Ghost and Sky have returned."

Nodding his head, Kuza stood up from his seat, walking past Ryan and towards the room where Ghost and Sky were.

One hundred and thirty-three years had gone by. For one hundred and thirty-three years, Ryan had been living with Mike and other vampires.

To say he didn't make friends would be a lie. Mike, who he had already known from a run-in in Texas, had been nice enough to give Ryan a job he would actually enjoy. Ghost was nice, but could get a bit too touchy at times. Luckily, Mike was there to... fix the problems. Sky was quiet, but lethal, yet still made a friend out of Ryan. Ahren was on watch half of the time with Joel and Trenton. But, to say that Ryan didn't miss the life he used to have would also be a lie.

He had spent centuries with Angelo, and just over half a decade with Chris and Ricky. He couldn't just forget them and throw them away like they didn't mean anything. Whether Ricky knew it or not, Ryan actually did miss him. More than he thought or knew.