Dark Side Of The Moon (Part 2 Of Cold Grey Light)

Slowly Dying

October...

November...

I don't know what to do, I thought to myself as I sat on the hard ground that was my bedroom floor. He had left, he had left me. He had walked away without even a backwards glance, he didn't want to see me anymore, and he didn't want me. His face had been completely blank when he had said it emotionless, he had meant it.

I stumbled back to my house, when I got to my room I slide onto the ground curling up into a ball and stared at the wall. He had gone; he had gone was all that I could think of. My reason for living had left, my hands wrapped themselves around my middle as the sobs and tears that were threatening to break through my numbness and control. I knew that once they did there would be no going back, there would be nothing to stop them...there was no stopping them, there would be no hope that I could stop them anyway, no way to hold them back. I slow gave into the pain, unwinding my arms; tears seem to fall instantly, I slipped further into the numbness letting the darkness have me...

I could tell from the snow that it was now December. I don't remember leaving the chair facing my window, ever. I might have gone to the bathroom or taken an occasional shower but my memory was shot. The hole in my chest was all that I could focus on. The edges were raw, they burned. Maybe if I could quit toying with it it would soothe but that was something I could not do. Call me a masochist.

Two children were playing outside. They looked like two puffy blue marshmallows with arms and legs. One brushed the hair out of her face before bending over to gather snow in her hands. I watched her sculpt the icy white blob into a perfect ball. She held it above her head proudly before throwing it at her playmate. The ball exploded against her companion and little pale diamonds fell to the ground. He looked up in shock then darted straight for her. The girl let out a high pitched screech while trying to run in her puffy attire. She didn't make it very far before he tackled her to the ground. He pinned her down and she continued to scream in delight. The boy hovered over her then sunk his lips to hers which silence her screams. My chest was cramping. I had to save her. He was going to kill her.

I stood up and took a step towards my window. I tapped on the transparent glass but the two tiny lovers paid no mind. "He is going to break your heart." I said. I did my best to warn her but she was so intoxicated by him that she couldn't hear the broken girl revealing her future to her. She was as good as gone.

"Bella, you're up!" I heard Annabella's voice behind me. I turned around.

"It's a miracle, I guess."

"Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?" Now that he mentioned it, I didn't remember the last time I had eaten anything. My stomach started cramping. I couldn't resist the thought of a meal.

"Yeah. Maybe some take out."

"You got it." Annabella left my doorway in an ear-to-ear grin. I couldn't help but smile too.

Outside I heard the door to the cruiser open and shut then the engine start and slowly trail away. I was alone again.

I walked out into the hallway and made my way into the tiny bathroom that Annabella and I shared. The tile floor was cold and sent a shiver through me. I bend down over the sink, turned the fawcett on and cupped my hands to capture the ice cold water. When my palms couldn't hold anymore I splashed the water on my face. I was suddenly more awake then I had been in months. I looked up into the mirror. Water was dripping from the tip of my nose and running down my face. I placed my hand on my chest. I looked like hell. My skin wasn't just pale anymore, it was snowy white. My eyes had no light in them. They were still muddy brown but there was nothing behind them.

My hair was matted. It didn't tumble down my shoulders the way it used to. It was stuck, frozen in a greasy tangled state. I took a step back to examine my body. I was way too thin. My clothes hung over me instead of clutching my skin lightly like they were supposed to. I looked like a corpse. If I had the will I would have started weeping then, but there was none. No energy, no strength. Just a sick hope that maybe tonight would be the night that he would come back to me.