The Unstoppable

Dreams

I looked around the house to possibly find some batteries. And used them in my portable CD player. The first song that played was, I Don't Want To Be- By Gavin DeGraw and I started to cry. Because it reminded me even more of regular life. And Netflix. I sat on my couch for hours listening to This Is Gospel- By Panic! At The Disco. I was torturing  myself. The whole day. Until I heard a knock on my door. I didn't mind to turn down the music. I opened the door ( music blasting) " Hey, Is this a good time?" It was Jackson. My eyes were puffy from crying and tears were running down my face. " Um, yeah I guess." I took the sleeve of my jacket and rubbed my tears, noticing it was his jacket. " Would it be okay to give you a hug?" He was standing in the door way. " Yeah I guess." I was looking down. He walked towards me and gave me a ( what seemed like) a really long hug. I pulled away. The warmness of his body spread all through my body. And the smell of him. It was stuck in my head. I walked over to my couch and sat down. " Is this Panic! At The Disco? I remember it from somewhere. Hm" He was thinking. " Um (sniffle) I was in your art class and I used to play it all the time, I just didn't know that you ever noticed it.( sniffle)" Tears were still running down my cheeks. I turned down the music.  " Why are you crying Paige?" He was looking at me with sympathy. " Um, it's nothing really." I tried to blink out my tears. " Hey its okay." He wiped a tear. I looked away. " So, why are you here?" I didn't look at him. " I need your help. You know, telling my dad." I was still silently crying. " I.....I'm sorry. ( sniffle) I can't right now. Can you please just leave. Paige should be home later." I still couldn't look at him. " Are you okay Paige?" Can he leave anything alone? " Yes, I'm fine please just leave." He got up and slowly walked to the door. He slowly opened the door. I put a blanket over my head and pretended not to be there for so long. The door opened. " Paige?" It was Beth. I got up and ran and jumped into her arms, bawling. " Paige? shh it's going to be okay. I'm here now." We walked up the stairs and went into my room. " Can we move your bed upstairs, please?" She giggled. "Of course." She is the beautiful, happy person she always was. Normal. 

" Is that Jackson's jacket?" I looked at it. " Yeah it's a really long story." She didn't seem to care. " Okay, haha." She sat down on my bed. " So how are you?" She played with my hair like she always did, and I laid my head on her shoulder. " I missed you so much, you are my sister and I was afraid to loose you." She grabbed my head. " Hey, it's okay. I'm here now." She put her arm around me. After a little while we unpacked everything and moved all of her things upstairs. " Hey Beth, I'm sorry. For everything before you were in the hospital." She stopped what she was doing. " It's okay. Paige, I will never hold anything against you!" She smiled. And at that moment I realized why I kept living, because of her. 

I made our favorite food that we had grown from our garden, boiled carrots. And rice I picked from the fields. No wonder we are so skinny. We drank milk that we got from our cows. We both had our hair in messy buns, and short shorts and a cut off tee. She ate like she hadn't ate in weeks. " Hey can I have some more?" She giggled with her hands over her mouth. " Yeah help yourself." I laughed. I had only eaten about half of what I got. She came back to my room and started inhaling more food. " Aren't you going to eat?" Its funny when she talks with her mouth full. " Yeah, I did." She stopped for a second. " like two bites." I picked up the fork and ate a few more bites. " Eh, I wasn't really hungry anyway." I put the fork down. " We will save it for later and eat it for dinner." She always thought of ways to save things.

I was looking out the window, and I saw Jordan and Benjamin together on the wall. I smiled. They were laughing and slapping each other. And then it happened.My face fell flat. I saw that Beth noticed.  She went in for a kiss. My whole world went crashing down. My heart dropped down to my toes. I looked at my hand and saw the promise ring he had given me. I took it off and threw it. " Paige? What's wrong?" I started throwing stuff in my room. Yelling and crying at the same time. " Hey! Hey!" Paige grabbed my arms and held me for a second. I started crying in her arms. Again. I was just a mess today. 

After I calmed down I tried to explain what happened. 

"It was Benjamin, we were dating for at least a week now. And he gave me this beautiful promise ring. I was looking at the window and I saw him and Jordan, they were messing around. And she just kissed him." ( sniffles after every word) " Why....WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT."  I swear Beth was going to start crying also. " Awe, Paige." She walked over and looked through a pile of things that I threw. She grabbed the ring and put it in my jewelry box. " What are you doing?" I was crying. She walked over to me. " You might want it one day." She gave me a hug then  laid on her bed. "I'm tired. I'm going to take a nap. I'll be up later." She put a blanket over her and fell asleep. I sat on my bed and looked out the window. I decided to go downstairs and grab my portable CD player and headphones.  I played This Is gospel By Panic! At The Disco. I fell asleep to the sound of music.