The Unstoppable

Hurt

I could feel the numbness in my thigh from cutting. After a while it started to hurt. I can remember every second of it. I lost control of my body. Cutting over and over again. Line after line. 

I couldn't stop myself, so Jackson did. 

I was thinking about the incident all day. Sometimes I started to cry and couldn't help it. But how could I just do that? Life could be so much worse and I'm cutting myself over non- sense. I feel like no one is here for me, but Beth and Jackson are. I guess I just didn't realize. I could feel blood under the band- aid. I lay in bed wishing I could get a hug from Beth. She is slowly recovering. 

I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and get out of bed and walked downstairs. " Hey Paige." Jackson was happy. I couldn't even look at him. " Paige?" I kept walking. " Hey, Paige. Stop." Jackson grabbed me by the wrist, which was also scarred from cutting. " Whats wrong?" I pulled away. " Whats wrong? Whats wrong is that I made a fool of myself, cutting because I felt sorry for myself." I turned around and started to cry again. He walked over to me and I was holding my face and then laid on his chest. He put his arms around my while I cried. " Hey, Its okay. Everything is going to be okay. He held me tight." I thought he was going to cry. " Paige why would you do that? You are so much better than that. And cutting yourself is just going to make things worse." I cried harder. " I.......I don't know Jackson." I just needed hugs. My whole body was numb. " You aren't alone Paige, you have us. And you need to think about the bright side of things." He was holding my head. I realized that all I was wearing was a really long sweat shirt that belonged to my dad. I didn't even care. " I don't know if you are religious, but you need to look to god for strength. Stop letting the devil get into your mind." I wiped my eyes and looked at him. " Why do you put up with me Jackson?" He kissed me on the forehead. " Because I care." I hugged him one last time. " Thanks." 

I walked away over to the couch and sat down. Holding the sweat shirt sleeves over my hands and holding it over my lips. I could still feel the kiss on my forehead. But my body was still numb. I decided to go upstairs and lay with Beth for a while. I went up the stairs and into our room. I walked over to her bed and climbed under the sheets and she cuddled on me and cried a little. We both feel asleep after awhile. 

I woke up to the smell of something delicious. Eggs? I walked down the stairs and there was Jackson on the grill with a pan making eggs. " Good morning." He smiled at me. I tried to smile. " Hey, smile. Or you aren't leaving." I looked down. " No thanks." He walked over to me. " Please smile." ugh. "Why?" I tried to walk around him but we were basically dancing.  " Hahaha stop." He picked me up by my stomach and over his shoulder. " HAhahh put me down." I was squealing. He finally put me down. " See I made you smile." I crossed my arms and smiled. " Pff okay hah." 

I walked back to the grill. " Eggs?" I was almost to short to see over the pan. " Yep fresh to." mmmmm. " Should I see if Beth will get out of bed?" I need to change my clothes. " Yeah." Jackson was a good cooker. I decided to get some water into the tub for Beth. I helped her bathe and got her some clothes, and helped her down the stairs. Jackson walked over to her and hugged her and kissed her. You should have seen the look in his eyes when she walked in. They sparkled, like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. I walked back upstairs and clean myself up and change.