The Unstoppable

Thinking

I feel like its been months, no, wait, it has been months since the " Normal"

I forgot how easy it is to hide depression, and how much you think about ending your life. I almost miss the constant nagging, yelling, and the torture I went through. But now that the world has completely shut down from electronics, power, and electricity, I feel like my life isn't so stressful. Well, actually it is because I need to figure out how i'm getting over that wall. With or without Jackson. Why couldn't I get him out of my head? He is my best friend's boyfriend, but he seems like the only thing I can think about, I miss him. A lot. 

I didn't know what to do anymore, it seemed that my life was pointless. Since the world was ending no one would miss me anymore. I don't want to live much longer, maybe ill tell Jackson to kill me. I doubt he would even listen to me. But he wont have a choice later on. What if I get bitten? Or catch a disease? I couldn't even think about it. 

I hadn't seen my parents in weeks because they were never home, they were always helping around the community just like I did. I miss it. I can't move without help, my ribs hurt so bad. I stopped taking pills because I want to save them in case something worse were to happen, I thought that would be a good idea. I tried to remember the last time I listened to music, I missed all of it. Music was my other best friend when Beth wasn't around. I miss going on jogs with my iphone and listening to music, I miss track practice with Beth. When i'm healed I should talk to her about running again together like old times so we stay in shape in case the town explodes and we need to run for our lives, because I would make it one block and start breathing too heavily to run anymore. Here and there I try to sit up on my own to build strength, but I can't. Man I miss Jackson. A few days went by and Beth never came into our room, not even to check on me. I was starting to worry about her. What if those guys got her and she is stuck in some building with those nasty guys. I get the chills just thinking about it. I decided to take one pill and force myself out of my bed. I used all of my arm strength to stand up, and I walked over to the wall for support. I was about to open the door and it opened. It was Beth, she ran over to me to help me. I pushed her away. " What are you doing you can't get out of bed." She put her arm around me. " Oh whatever Beth, don't act like you care it's been like three days and you didn't come in here once to check on me so get away." She knew I was right. " Wait a minuet, if you never left our room how did you get food and water?" Oh my gosh. " I thought maybe you brought it in while I was sleeping so I ate it when I woke up, and I thought you changed me when I was asleep." Her hand was on my arm. " No, I never did any of those things, I went to town to help your parents with some things and I was just never home so I thought you were doing okay." I knew it was Jackson. " Well, can you get me some water so I can take a bath and get washed up because I am gross and I smell." She grabbed the bucket out of the bathroom and went down the stairs, so I'm guessing that was a yes. 

I turned around a picked out an outfit and decided to grab my makeup because I haven't worn it since the beginning of the end. Beth brought up enough buckets to fill the tub and gave me hand made soap that i'm guessing my parents made. My skin felt nice after I was all clean, and it felt nice to be clean after those guys touched me. It was hard to get out of the bath but I eventually made it. I was all dressed and put on makeup and everything I went downstairs. The second I sat down on the couch someone knocked on the door. I got up and opened it up. It was Jackson. " Hey, come in." He walked in and sat down on the couch and I followed. " So what have you been thinking about?" He sat on the seat next to me. " A lot, the plan. And what we should do." He seemed different for some reason. " I don't know if we should take Beth." I felt nervous to say that. " Ha, like she is just going to let us leave." Okay so he wants to go there. " You think she would last out there? Because I don't." He looked mad. " Why would you say that? She is a strong person!" He stood up, so did I. " Okay so we take her and something happens to her? Do you think I will be able to live without her!" He crossed his hands. " DO YOU THINK I COULD LIVE WITHOUT HER!?!?!" We were full out arguing. I got closer. " So what do we do? HUH?" I was almost in his face. I turned around and sat on the couch, he grabbed me before I could sit down.  " Look, Paige. I don't want to leave her, and I don't want anything to happen to any of us." He had calmed down a little bit. " Then why don't we just not go since we can't agre--" He grabbed my face and pulled me in for a kiss. His lips were soft, and his breath tasted like mints. We kissed for a few seconds. I stopped and looked at him. He went to the couch and took my hand, after  he pulled me on his lap and began to kiss me more, rubbing his hands up and down my back, occasionally rubbing my legs. I ran my fingers through his hair and he ran his fingers through mine. After maybe thirty minuets of kissing we stopped and I laid my head on his chest.  He put his arm around my back, and put a blanket over me. I fell asleep.