After You

Chapter Two

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I know what you're thinking and yes I killed my parents. My therapist told me not to believe it my fault, but I knew it was. If I wasn't for me my parents would have been alive. And that's when I started seeing things. I guess I was lucky to be alive, I should have died in that crash, but I wasn't even in the car.

I didn't thought. I was here very much alive. Thank god my brother Mason hadn't been in the car, and he had stayed home with me. I swear to god if he had also died then I would have never forgiven myself. It was bad enough that my other brother Jason had died.

Every single day I think that if I never made them leave the house they would be alive. If they never went to go get me pain killers. I wouldn't have went to a therapist. I wouldn't have become some what of an alcohol at the age 17. I would be able to spend so many more birthdays with them. I can't even stand my birthday.

This last year I planned on going out and drinking until I passed out. If they hadn't have gone my Grandma wouldn't hate me. My Grandpa wouldn't have left and I would be heading off to a nice college. Then when I was working I would taken care of my parents like they had me. But no they're dead and I'm stuck in this fucking shit life.

The only reason my Grandma hasn't kicked me out is because of my brother, Mason. He's also the reason I hadn't left. Hayden offered for me to move in with him but I couldn't do that. Mason couldn't lose his sister as well. And if there was only one good thing left in my life that would have to be my little brother.

I don't partying, drinking, or doing crazy stuff that could get me killed. Okay I lied about the last part the crazy stuff was pretty fun. My Grandpa was normally the one that bailed me out of jail but he got tired of me. Everyone did, so he left. I was the reason for my grandparents failed marriage. So not did I kill my Grandmas only daughter, let alone child, but I was the reason her whole life was messed up.

Trust me if I could I would leave in a second. I would take Mason with me, and even though I have a job it wouldn't be enough to support us. He'd go with me to, he's the only person that doesn't blame me for everything. My Grandma even sent him to a private school to keep him away from me and the bad influence I was. I dont blame her really. But that was back before I was any real trouble. She wanted trouble so that's what I have her. It was almost two years ago now when they died.

*Flash back*

"Happy Birthday!" Jason ran up to me and gave me a big hug. He was only 6 and even though there was a 10 year difference between us I really didn't mind.

"Thanks babe." I tickled his sides as he started laughing. He squirmed and laughed.

"To much!" He screamed. And started laughing even harder.

"Okay okay. There you go." I stopped tickling him and let him calm down some but he was still chuckling a little bit.

"Why is mommy so mad at you?" Jason asked me looking very sad.

"I don't know kid. I've been bad so mommy doesn't really like me right now." It was true my mom was mad at me because I missed curfew and stayed out getting drunk. I wasn't an alcoholic then it was just a good party.

Actually I wouldn't say I was popular but I had alot of great friends. I went to parties, bonfires, football games, dances. I loved to have a good time. I loved to feel free from everything that was expected of me.

I had played sports and recruiters from all over the country had me on there top ten list. I had straight A's and I was the girl any mother mother would love for their son to bring home as a girlfriend.