After You

Chapter Eighteen

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"Tess you really need to stop drinking." John told me pulling the glass away from my lips.

"No I don't. I'm just getting started." I mumbled.

"You'll kill yourself." He countered.

"Who ever said I wanted to live. I have nothing in life. Nothing." I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last time something went good in my life.

"You still have Mason." Mason. My little brother. He might as well be dead to me. Actually it's the other way around I should be dead to him. I only hurt the people I love, and in the end they end up dead anyways.

"Tessa! Can you please stop drinking!" John yelled at me.

"Why can I still here them? I'm not supposed to be able to hear them when I'm drunk. They're supposed to be gone." I went on.

"I think you need need to go back to your therapist." He declared.

"Why all they want me to do is talk about my feelings. I don't know what feelings are. I sure as hell don't have any. I learned how to block them out a long time ago." I laughed humorously.

"Tess please you're worrying me." He begged.

"Oh shut up will you." I crawled on top of him straddling his waist. I kissed him hard on the lips.

"Am I still worrying you?" I asked him between kisses. Then I pulled back to kiss down his neck.

"Yes you're still worrying me." I pulled back and looked him in the eyes. I kissed him again harder pressing my body against his during the kiss.

"Tess stop." He told me and pushed me back slightly. I immediately rolled off of him.

"Why did he cheat on me so many times. Why does he still do it? It thought that if you where with your mate you shouldn't be able to cheat on them without your wolf doing some serious damage to you." I placed my head in my hands. I don't understand. Him doing this really fucks with me.

"He's not you mate." John growled.

"I know that but he's convinced that I am. And I do love him but it should be the same. It should affect him at least a little bit." I grabbed my glass and filled it up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He propped himself up on his elbows.

"That's enough." He took my glass from me again and now I was getting frustrated in more ways than one.

"Please tell me you'll go talk to them." He ran his hand through my hair. Afterwards and trailed down to my bra unhooking it.

"John." I breathed.

"Promise me." He demanded.

I leaned down and kissed him as he pulled my bra off the rest of the way. "I promise." I told him before we finished what was just started.

"Where did you learn that move?" I asked him kissing his neck ready for another go.

"I just picked it up." He told me turning over to kiss me. He tangled his legs in mine and pulled the mess of blankets up to our shoulders.

"Well you had to try it out on someone." I teased, but it was kind of true. No way he could be that good at it if he hadn't done that move before.

"Let's not get worried about it." He rolled on top of me holding himself up with his elbows. He leaned down and kissed me pressing his bare stomach against mine.

"Seriously where did you learn it." He nibbled on my ear.

"Does it matter." He stopped once again hovering over me.