Waiting To Exhale

Two

I redo my ponytail as I rush off towards the tiny bathroom across from my room. I splash some cold water on my face and drop some eye drops in my narrow and slightly bulging brown eyes. I pull softly at my cheeks. There's a small cut on my short chin but I don't have anything to cover it with so I leave it alone. Picking at it will only irritate it and leave a nasty scar.

"Olivia! Where the hell is you?!"

"I'm right here," I say as I rush to his aid. He's waiting for me with a bottle clutched in his long, boney fingers. He reeks of alcohol. He pats my head as he makes his way to the kitchen on shaky legs. I gag. This is what I go through every day. How bad it is depends on which of his friends he was hanging with.

I follow closely behind him. When he sits at the table I rush to the refrigerator and take out the dinner I prepared before going to school this morning, placing it in the microwave and heating it up. Gabriel mumbles incoherently to himself. The countdown on the microwave seems to be creeping by very slowly for some unwelcoming reason. I tap my fingers against the counter, pouting my lips up as I wait.

As I'm tapping away a bottle whizz past my head. I duck out of instinct. The bottle shatters against the wall behind me. "Stop all of that tapping. I can't take it. You're so loud." As if shattering that bottle wasn't worse.

"Sorry." When his food is done warming up I stick a plastic fork in the middle and hand it to him. I shrink back in the corner of the small kitchen. Gabriel demands I stay and watch him eat knowing I'm running on an empty stomach. Maybe I should just suck it up at school rather than skip lunch over hiding out in the girl's bathroom. Never mind that though. I'm too scared to sit in the cafeteria. I'm so scared of everyone and everything. I don't want to be like this. I wish I could just snap my fingers and become someone else. I hate who I am. I live with an alcoholic and I work my butt off to support the two of us.

When he finishes eating I take his plate and wash it up for him. He disappears from the kitchen. Now he's out back smoking a cigarette and downing some more poison. His brain is fried. Fried, I tell you.

I rush to my room and quickly change into my work clothes. I'm working at Burger King. I don't prepare the food or anything like that. I just clean up. The walk there is long and it's hot out but I don't have a choice. If I don't go to work when things don't get paid. I always make it to work on time. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my job.

Today's work goes by smoothly. Not too many people come in on a Wednesday. I'm just about to clock out when a group of boys comes barging in being unnecessarily loud. I recognize a few of them from school but the others look like adults. As I'm walking out one of them grabs my arm. I quickly snatch it away. I turn my nose up at him and try to bypass him but he stops me.

"Why you got an attitude? I hope you don't think you above me or something." His voice is deep and he towers over me by a lot. I can tell he isn't from here. He looks like he's made of money. I don't know if the diamonds in his watch are actually diamonds or cheap knock-offs.

I don't know how to respond to that so the only thing that comes to my mind is, "what?"

"Don't act stupid with me."

"Leave me alone." I try to get past him again but again he blocks me. I'm so tired of guys always messing with me. I can't defend myself and it's not hard to pick that out. I wish I was like those crazy girls I see at school that aren't afraid to fight someone, even a guy. "Can you leave me alone?"

"Jerome leave her alone. She ain't do nothing to you." I turn to see the sexiest man I've ever seen around here. He's tall and lean. His long dreads are pulled back in two big braids, revealing his smooth chocolate complexion. His lips are slightly pink and when he licks them I just want to melt. I can't believe he's defending me. No guy, especially someone as sexy as him, has ever defended me.

"This my business." Jerome snaps.

The sexy guy walks over towards us. I can smell his light chalone. He smells so good. "If you wouldn't treat yo momma like that don't treat her like that."

   Jerome rolls his eyes and lets me go. "Man whatever. You always gotta ruin somebody's fun. Stop acting like my daddy nigga."

   "If he was acting like yo daddy he would have been left," one of his friends double over in laughter at the harsh joke.

   Jerome rolls his eyes and pushes his friend, not too harshly though. "Man shut up!"

   The sexy guy shakes Jerome's comment off and turns to me timidly. "Um sorry about that." And with that, Mr. Sexy leaves to enjoy the company of his boys.

   He's all I can think about on my way home. He's so fine. I'm probably never going to see him again though. I know he's not thinking about me. If it wasn't me I wouldn't be thinking about me either. I'm nothing like these other girls and that's not something to be proud of. I'm fifteen and I've never had a boyfriend, let alone kissed a boy. No guy I'm interested in wants to date me. Not even that sexy guy I met back there. He looks like he's made of money just like his friends. Either they have good jobs, filthy rich parents, or they're gangbangers.

   I hope he's not a gangbanger. That would suck. Well, whatever he's doing is working for him. I wish I had money to just go around and buy things I don't need just because I can. It must be nice to spoil yourself.

   I'm relieved when my tiny blue house comes into view. That feeling quickly goes away when I spot a battered blue car and a red truck is parked outside of the gate. Oh no. This is bad. This is very bad.