Waiting To Exhale

Eleven

"I'm so fucking pissed at you right now. You snuck off to a party and almost got raped." His voice is calm and that scares the crap out of me.

"How did you know I was there?"

He stops pacing and stares directly at me with that cold stare. "You liked all those guys dancing on you? I saw you. You looked like you were having fun. You probably lead that guy on. That's why he attacked you."

I can't believe him. He was watching me the whole time. I bet he watched that guy take me upstairs. He knows I was drinking. It showed in my face. I didn't know that was going to happen. I didn't know. I told that guy I have a boyfriend. He knew that. All of those guys knew that and they didn't care because they wanted me.

I slip off my shoes and sit down on the couch. Mason sits at the table in front of me. He just stares so I bury my face in a pillow to keep from looking at him.

"You are so stupid. You don't think. I gave you all this and that's how you repay me-"

"I didn't lead him on. I told him I have a boyfriend."

"You owe me." He continues as if I hadn't said a word. I can't even look at you right now."

I don't say anything. I know I'll just be making it worse. I do owe him. I always will. "You took my virginity!" I don't know why I said but I did. I look up at him. I know I caught him off guard.

"I didn't take anything. You gave it to me."

"You made me feel like I had to. You always make me feel like I have to. Anthony-"

"Who the hell is Anthony. He better be some brother I never heard about because you're testing me right now."

I messed up. I shouldn't have brought his name up. I'm just drunk talking right now. We should do this when I sober up. I get up and go to the bathroom. Mason follows. He's still yelling but by this point, I don't even care. I rub me some water for a bath and undress in front of him when it fills up. I don't care that he's watching. He's seen me naked before. When he took my virginity. I tie my hair up so it won't get wet.

Mason compliments me on it. I don't say anything. I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep. I start dozing off in the tub. When I open my eyes I'm in Mason's bed. The bed where he took my virginity. I doze back off.

I wake up at one in the afternoon with a massive headache. Mason is there to give me some pills and water. I feel awful but I can't go back to sleep. Mason crawls in bed next to me and wraps his arms around my waist. He slept in the living room last night. He was so mad at me. Reasonably so. I said and did a lot of stuff last night that I shouldn't. It's not fair to him.

"I'm so messed up," I mumble out loud to myself.

"You've just been through a lot. The people that put you through that are the ones that are messed up. Not you."

He always knows just the right things to say. I can't stay mad at him. He's the only guy that was interested in me before I got new clothes and fancy hair and makeup. He likes me for me. I can't just throw that away.

"You hurt me."

"I'm sorry Mason. I'm sorry." I turn over to look directly in his eyes. I can see the pain in them. The pain I caused. I kiss his lips gently. He smiles, making me smile as well.

"You're forgiven. I can't stay mad at you for long. You know that." He says. I smile even more. "I want you to move in with me."

I sit up straight. "Mason we've only known each other for a couple of months. Besides, Gabriel will flip out on me. I have to take care of him. He can't function without me." It sucks but it's true. He's been relying on me never since he started drinking. I can't just up and leave. "If anyone finds out I can get sent to foster care. I'll probably never see you again. I don't want that."

"I just don't want you to be in danger. Does he hit on you?"

"Of course not. He's an alcoholic. Not an abuser." I know I shouldn't lie to him but I see the fire in his eyes. Who knows what he'll do if he finds out what Gabriel does. I don't want Mason to make things worse for me without knowing it.

I hope Gabriel is still asleep. If he calls me and I don't answer there will be hell to pay.

"I need to get home but I don't want to go."

"Then stay."

"I can't. You know why..."

"Just stay here a little longer. I'll drop you off but I want to spend time with my baby right now."

As we're laying there in silence a thought cross my mind that I haven't thought of before;

How am I going to explain to Gabriel where I got the money to do My hair?

I can't hide it. Maybe I can just stay out of his way and when he calls me to do something for him I'll throw on a hoodie and stay out of his view. I don't know.

"How are you not freaking out about my age?"

"You're so mature it's hard to tell. I trust you won't get me in trouble."

"I won't."

"See, so mature." I snuggle up closer to him.

It isn't until three that I go home. Mason didn't want to let me go. I think it's cute. He's so protective of me. I like that about him. He saved me last night. I'm so thankful for him coming in when he did. I'm never getting drunk again. I'm never drinking again.