Waiting To Exhale

Fourteen

The drive to Mason's house seems far longer than I remember. I guess I just have too much occupying my mind.

I'm sure Tre didn't mean it like that. He's just another hormonal teenager. He'll get over it. He has to because I'm never going to be with him. I love Mason. My heart skips a beat. Do I really love Mason? Maybe it's too soon to tell. I'm young anyway. Joe says kids my age don't know what love is. That we just like to pretend we do because we like to pretend we're adults.

Joe is always right. He has eight grandkids and now with his new baby boy he has three kids. I met his older son a couple of times. He use to stop by to help Joe with the store. He was kind of chubby and really loud. He doesn't like me at all. He had it drilled into his head that I was only hanging around to get money or steal from Joe. I never did any such thing. There were times when Joe offered me money but I would never take it. He has a family of his own to take care of and I don't steal either. Even though my clothes were dirty my soul wasn't. Isn't.

I'm a kind person, too kind at that. I let people walk all over me. I let them. Gabriel comes home every night drunk. He beats me. He takes away my money. He forces me to watch him eat while my insides beg to be fed. Those girls at school throw me down. They spit in my face. They call me mean and hurtful things and I let them.

I let them.

I don't want to be someone that gets pushed around anymore. I want to be more like Jen. Even Bianca Anderson fears her. No one touches her.

"You're a little quiet over there. More than usual." Jen says, disrupting my train of thought.

I assure her I'm fine. That I just don't have anything to talk about. She accepts my response. Jen is so easy going. I don't think she really cares about anything.

I head to the kitchen and look in the fridge. I scowl when I see a bunch of healthy stuff. No snacks. Mason has been really on me about staying healthy and working out at the gym. I can't really complain much. All those trips to the gym have been paying off and people are starting to notice.

I take a bag of grapes out and put some in a bowl. I then put the bag back in the fridge. Grapes will just have to do.

Jen flops down on the couch and turn on Mason's flat screen t.v. She flips through the channels and finds something about Disney fairy tales coming to life. There's some sort of plot twist to all the characters. I barely pay attention but Jen mentions something about them being stuck in some magical town. I didn't take her as someone that would sit around and watch something like that. I picture her as the reality t.v. type. I guess I jumped the gun.

There's a lot about Jen I don't know and there's a lot about me she doesn't know. We both prefer to keep it that way. Neither of us willing to open up about the past. Whatever she doesn't want to talk about can't be nearly as bad as what I went through. She probably just thinks it is.

By the time Mason comes home Jen is knocked out on the couch. She went to sleep two hours ago and left me to sit up. I wasn't sleepy. I just decided to take out my notebook and start drawing a couple of random pictures.

"Hey, babe." I greet Mason with a simple kiss and a hug. He seems excited to see me.

"Hey. I'm gonna go change then we can go. Wake Jen up and tell her to go home. I am not about to leave her by herself at my house. She's irresponsible." Mason goes upstairs and I wake Jen up. She looks ridiculous waking from her deep slumber with slob crusted around her puckered lips and crust all in her eyes. She scolds me for laughing but I could care less. I don't have to apologize either. I can do what I want and not feel sorry for doing it.

She leaves the house after expressing her anger towards Mason for forcing her to leave and of course washing her face. I made sure she was completely awake before letting her leave the house. I wouldn't want her to get in an accident.

"You look nice. I love that dress on you."

"Thanks." My dress is short but doesn't stick to my skin at all. Its a pretty mint green. I follow Mason outside to his car. I still can't get over how nice it is. Mason told me the name of it but I quickly forgot and don't feel like asking. I think it starts with an L.

I hold Mason's hand in mine.

"So I was thinking, we should go out."

"Like on a date?" I ask.

"Yes. Like on a date. We should go somewhere fancy."

"Like where?" I've never been on one of those fancy dates. Even though I and Mason have been together for some time now we haven't been on a real date yet. It mostly has something to do with our age difference. If he gets caught he can lose everything.

"I know this nice restaurant outside of town that will let me rent the place out for the night. It'll just be us."

I smile. I wish I weren't so young. Then we could go out wherever we want whenever we want. But he's doing the best he can under these unfortunate circumstances.

"I like to draw."

"What?" Mason asks, confused by my sudden outburst.

"The first time I got in your car I recall you asking what interest me, what I like. Well, I like to draw. At first, it was just a way to pass the time or get away from my problems but I think I enjoy it."

"That's great." My smile drops a little. I was expecting a little more from him. I just told him something so personal to me and he doesn't seem all too interested. He shouldn't have asked if he didn't really care. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

I'm silent the rest of the ride to the beach. I don't have much to say to him and I'm not going to force the conversation. It's not worth it.

I pull out our beach towels and move to find a good spot. The beach isn't too packed but there's still a good amount of people here. I had Jen braid my weave down so I don't have to worry about it getting messed up in the water. I'm keeping it surprisingly nice. Jen has been helping me with that. She sure knows a lot about hair. I'm gonna need her to teach me some neat tricks so I can eventually style my hair on my own.

I lay the towels out on the sand. Mason comes behind me and grabs my waist. He plants sweet kisses down my neck. "I heard what you said. I think it's cool you like to draw."

So he did care. He does care.

A smile creeps up on my face.