Waiting To Exhale

Six

"What you thinking 'bout ma?" Mason ask. He parks the car in the first open spot he finds. Of course, the mall is packed. I think malls are always supposed to be packed. People love going shopping. Meanwhile, I have never stepped foot into a mall. I don't have the money to buy anything and I know I'm gonna fall in love with something. Gabriel will hurt me if I walk in with bags full of expensive stuff, all for me. He'll think I spent "his" money on something other than rent and his alcohol. If Mason plans on buying me a lot of stuff I don't know what kind of story to make up if Gabriel finds them. I can't tell him they're from some young, rich guy. He'll think I'm selling my body. That will earn me a couple of slaps to the face if I'm lucky.

I'll just think about all of that when the time comes. When we get inside the building we just decide to start with the first clothing store for women we spot. It's a cute little boutique with nice colors (deep blue, deep red, green, black and white, nude). Everything in here looks so pretty. My eyes light up.

"Get whatever you want. I can afford it."

I bite down on my bottom lip, a nervous habit I picked up along the way. "I don't know how to style outfits. I don't know what to look for." My whole wardrobe consists of black and white and grey sweatpants, hoodies, shorts, tank tops. There's nothing colorful or stylish in there. I can't afford it, remember?

"I'll be right back."

I stand near some clothes awkwardly waiting for Mason to do whatever it is he's about to do. I notice a white woman eyeing me down. I guess she thinks just because I'm black I came in here to steal something. She should be watching that white lady with a big purse taking whatever will fit in there. Her problem is focusing on me when there are other customers in the store. She walks over to me in her six-inch heels and tight blue dress.

She asks me if I need any help and I brush her off by saying I'm waiting for my boyfriend. I can tell she wants to say something else. She decides against it when Mason walks back over to me and wraps a muscular arm around my waist. The woman gives me some room to breathe. She asks me again if I need any help.

Mason cuts in and tells her we don't need her assistance. When she leaves Mason introduces me to a tall, older-looking woman. Apparently, she's supposed to show me around and help me find my style. She seems nice but I'm shy and only speak to her when she asks me questions, mostly giving her one-word answers like yes and no.

Mason waits outside on his phone while I try on all these beautiful clothes. I love everything. I don't want to spend too much of Mason's money so I try to put stuff back but Mason picks it up and has the lady ring it up anyway. I can't believe he's willing to spend so much money on me.

I decide to change into one of my many outfits. It consists of orange pants with a flowing white top and white sandals. I don't expect people to look at me too differently just because I got some new clothes. It feels weird to think about going to school with brand new clothes that are colorful and stylish after wearing the same few items throughout middle school. People are going to want to know where all this money is coming from. Oh gosh, I hope they don't think I'm using Mason for this stuff.

"What's on your mind?" Mason asks nudging me playfully with his elbow. I laugh.

"You don't think I'm using you do you?"

He stops walking and his face grows serious. "Of course not. You tried to talk me out of buying you half this stuff. You need to stop listening to what people say. It doesn't fit right on you."

"Okay."

"We should get you some active gear. You need to work out." I look down at my body. I'm a little skinny. "Not to lose weight but to stay healthy and possibly to gain a little muscle strength. I can get you a membership at my gym."

"You're right." I trust that he knows what he's talking about. I mean he does have a nice body. He grabs a hold of my hand we continue walking.

"I heard what you said back there. Do you think of me as your boyfriend? That's great because I'm ready to start calling you my girl."

"Your girl?"

"Yeah. I'm gon' take care of you, baby girl. You don't have to work for anything. That reminds me, you need to quit that low-paying job of yours. I don't want my girl working."

I'm shocked. He is willing to take care of me. "I can't have you support me like that."

"You can and you will. I got you." Everything he is saying sounds so good to my ears. Mason is willing to take care of me. I have never had a man take care of me. Though I'm not 28th him for his money, it sure is nice that he wants to spend it on his girl. Mason is officially the first boyfriend I have ever had and I want him to be the last. I want the two of us to be together forever. I deserve to be happy and Mason does just that.

I know the girls at school are going to be harder on me than they already were. Mason is the type of guy every girl wishes they had. I just can't believe I'm the one that gets to keep him.

We shop for other things like shoes, underwear, perfume, hair products. Just anything a girl could ever dream of. Mason makes a couple more suggestions to me along the way. I listen to him because I know he knows what he's talking about. I don't.

We hold hands on the way back. I finally allow Mason to see my tiny house. There's just no way he's going to drop me off at the corner with all this stuff to try to carry. My house isn't run-down. It's just small and the inside usually smells of liquor and sometimes Gabriel's body fluids. I cleaned the house up this morning and it doesn't seem like Gabriel has been here.

I'm grateful when Mason doesn't say anything about my house. I already feel embarrassed enough. The whole time we're moving things to my room I worry about Gabriel coming home. If he were to see Mason and all this stuff we're bringing in things will not be pretty and I don't know how Mason will react.

My stomach is tied in knots when I look at the time and realize it shouldn't be long before Gabriel comes stumbling through the door with his friends. The only time they leave the bar is when it closes. I don't know how he's able to pull himself together enough to make it down there. The man is a mess.