Waiting To Exhale

Thirty-six

   Freshly fallen leaves crunch loudly under my weight. The sun is beaming down on my face and my breath comes in deep, shallow rasps. This hike has been more fun than I expected. Its what we all need, to focus on making it to the end of this trail and fighting off bugs rather than our real world problems. Its way more easier this way.

   "I'm so tired. We've been walking for hours. My legs feel like noodles." Frankie complains. I laugh. This girl is so lazy.

   "We have only been walking for twenty minutes and we haven't even made it that far thanks to you. Stop acting like a big baby."

   "Shut up Kenyan. I didn't ask for your input. You grew up here so you're use to it."

   "Well I gave it anyway."

   Jen rolls her eyes at the two. "Both of you shut up. Jeez. This is a nature walk. Not a talk show. Suck it up."

   "She started it." Frankie mumbles, along with a few choice Spanish words. She swats at her ponytail before moving ahead of us. She'll get tired and fall right back behind eventually. Its only a matter of time. I swear that girl doesnt know what a workout is. She better thank God she's naturally skinny because all she does is sit around and stuff sugar down her throat. Mason has me on a strict diet. I guess he wants me to be as perfect as possible so he'll have something to show off.

   I bet he likes making people jealous.

   I move my perfectly waxed legs through thick trees. To be honest I am getting a little tired. I'm never going to admit that to them. Frankie will get the wrong idea and think she has someone on her side. She thought. I'm not lazy like her. We don't say a word to each other until we reach the top. We exchange a long string of complements to each other. Frankie starts up her complaining again once we turn around to start heading down. She's dreading the long walk down. I have to assure her it's only as bad as she makes it seem. Beaides, it's not like she can just hail a cab to come take her back to the cabin.

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   We get back to the cabin and the first thing I do is take a shower. I stink. The hot water washing down my back feels so good. A sigh escapes my wet lips. I don't care if any of the girls heard me and get the wrong idea. This feels too good. I'm never going to get use to this feeling. Nor do I want to. It's the simple things in life people take for granted. Some people just never know how good they have it until everything comes crashing down. Sad but true.

   I eventually wash off and get out of the tub before I get hammered down about using up all the hot water. Lord knows I can't fight back. Even if it's just for pretend. The girl I once was isn't just going to go away because I have some new people in my life. I wish it were that simple but it's not.

   I wrap a white towel around my small body and make my way to the room. Kenyan nearly knocks me over trying to get by to do whatever it is she needs to do. She mumbles a brief apology. I shrug it off and proceed to the room. I slip on another pair of spandex shorts and a black hoodie and long socks. Kenyan suggested we sit around the fire and tell each other our deepest secrets. Though childish, the idea does make me a little squirmy. It's not that I don't trust them, because I do, it's just so hard to talk about the things I've been through and the secrets I have kept. There's no way I'm spilling everything. I'll just give them some juicy stories I use to make up in my mind to fuel their curiosity.

   They just want to be all up in my business. But it's what friends are for, right?

   I slump downstairs and take a seat on the couch, resting my head on Jen's lap. Her beautiful thick legs are exposed and her dark skin looks luminescent against the light of the many candles someone decided to light. Jen plays in my hair for a while. I don't complain. Its soothing. Jen is like a big sister to me. I love her like one and I can't imagine my life without her. She means the world to me. She saw me when no one else did, when I looked as poor as I was. She wanted to be my friend. She introduced me to hers. Because of her I got to come on this trip.

   "This trip has been so fun," Jen confess as she runs her fingers through my hair.

   "I don't even want to go home." I agree. I turn so I'm staring directly in her dark eyes. "What are you going to do about your mom's boyfriend? You know you can't let her mary him."

   "I'm going to tell her. I don't know when but I am. When I do I need you to be there. You're suppose to be my friend. You have to be there. You owe me."

   "I'll be there. Calm down. You're my first friend. I'll do anything for you." I explain. I truly mean it too. Jen wanted to be my friend even when the others didn't. I would do whatever she ask really. I do owe her for being such a good friend. I wouldn't want to make her angry. I need her. I can't imagine going through school and all my girl problems without her. I'll do whatever it takes to make her stay. As desperate as that sounds.

   Jen smiles. She continues playing in my hair. "Good. Remember what you said because I might need to take you up on that one day. Gosh, I did so much for you. I stood up for you when you couldn't even do it yourself. I'm a good friend to you Olivia. I hope you know that. And your a good friend to me too."

   I smile. It feels good to hear her say I'm a good friend to her. The other girls finally decide to come downstairs and join us on the couch. We stay up late talking about whatever comes to mind. There are a few times when I think Kenyan is going to spill my secret but I'm sure I was just over thinking. Kenyan is not someone to beat around the bush. I think. She can't tell anyone. If Mason finds out he'll kill me and I know it. He had no problem putting his hands on me and making threats. The man sells drugs for a living. He's a thug. I have no idea what he's capable of.