Waiting To Exhale

Fourty-nine

I sit upon the bed-thingy. I don't know what it's called. I'm so nervous my stomach hurts. I can't believe I'm here. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I'm only sixteen. I and Mason use protection every time, I think. We had to have.

This would all be easier if he was here with me but he had work to take care of. Whatever the results I would rather tell him to his face. This is a scary thing for both of us. My heart is pounding in my chest right now as I wait for the doctor to come back with my results. She (I had to ask for a female since I'm no longer comfortable around too many guys) had me pee in a cup and gave me the option of going home and awaiting the call. The latter was certainly not something I was considering. I wouldn't be able to focus on the ride back.

I make an attempt to take out my phone and finish reading The Forsaken by Lisa M. Stasse but I barely make it past a sentence before feeling like I'm going to puke all over again. I can't concentrate on anything other than my test results right now. I'm sure I'm fine. I haven't received any morning sickness or anything like that. Aside from the incident with the shrimp, I feel fine. Taking the test is just me taking a precautionary measure.

It seems like hours has passed before my doctor finally decided to show up. Along with her purple scrubs and flashy earrings, she wears a pearly white smile. Her smile doesn't reach her ears like the woman that greeted me at the front desk. Her wrinkles roughly give away her age. She's probably in her forties. Despite her wrinkles, she is beautiful and her body looks perfectly healthy. She carries with her a clipboard filled with paperwork; my results. "Sorry to keep you waiting. These things do take time. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," same as when you left. At least that's what I've been telling her. But, inside I'm nervous. If she doesn't read me my results I'm going to puke. I can't take this, sitting around.

I look at her expectantly. "Where is your father Olivia?"

"He's working right now. Can I please hear my results? Am I pregnant or not?" I ask as nicely as I can muster given the circumstances.

My doctor sighs. "Oh, you're definitely pregnant. There are a couple of options for you; you can choose to keep the baby, give it up for adoption, or have an abortion. I understand this is hard. It would be better for both of us if your father could come in. In some cases, it's even better to also bring along the young man's parents or guardians." She explains.

"But I haven't even been showing any signs. Well except for the incident with the shrimp. You understand I'm only sixteen, right? I just turned sixteen. My mother had me only a couple of years before sixteen. I'm part of the reason she went crazy. She couldn't-" I can barely finish my sentence before I feel my throat tightening.

She places a hand on my shoulder. Her voice is surprisingly soft and genuine when she speaks, "Olivia it wasn't your fault, what happened to your mom. Your mom was a patient of mine for a very long time. She had her own demons to slay and unfortunately, she just couldn't. It happens."

"Yeah well, she's dead, at least to me she is."

My throat feels too clogged to speak. I never imagined myself here. I don't want a child at my age. I've become another stereotype. Pregnant at sixteen. I don't know how I feel about abortion. I don't want to take someone's life into my hands. But, I'm not ready to have a child. I thought we used protection. I thought we were careful. I guess you can never be too careful.

Dr. Martin gives me a sympathetic look. I just brush it off. "There are options for you. But, you have to decide before it's too late,"

My doctor hands me a couple of packets. I thank her before leaving and she urges me to give her a call to schedule another appointment when I decide what I'm going to do with this thing growing inside of me. It has been for three weeks.

Mason isn't home when I arrive so I decide to stuff my face with peanut butter. It's the only remotely sweet thing Mason has in here. He's now stuck on eating healthy and working out. He doesn't even believe in cheat meals. What a freak. I could really use a pizza and cinnamon rolls.

After eating as much peanut butter as I can take I put the cap back on and make my way to the room with the house phone, dialing Mason's number. He doesn't answer so I hang up and call him again, "hello?" he answers in a husky voice.

"When are you coming home?"

"Not any time soon. I'm going out with my boys. Monica's coming over in about half an hour. If y'all get hungry you can order something or just call Kathy. She'll come in and whip something up."

"That's nice. Um, we'll just order something. I don't want to bother Kathy. It's her day off." Kathy is a sweet old woman with a family to raise. I don't want to be one of those people that abuse the family maid. I don't by any means think I'm better than her or anyone. She doesn't bother anyone either. She comes in, does what she has to do, then leaves. Occasionally asking me how I'm doing or asking Mason how the family is doing.

"Okay. Well, you know where the money is. Oh, how did the appointment go-"

"I'll let you know when you get here. You know I don't like talking about serious matters over the phone."

"Okay," though I can't see him, I can imagine him shrugging. He's already too far gone. Probably got high off his own supply. This whole baby business is stressing him out because after all this time we've been together I've never caught him smoking. He's not a smoker or a drinker. I guess he has this whole thing about losing control. He hangs up. Moments later the doorbell rings. I give the okay for her to come up.

"Hey girl," Monica greets with open arms. I give her a quick hug. After our talk, I'm surprised Dylan let her come. You would think he would try to stay as far away from me as possible and keep his girlfriend away. I guess he's not worried about me telling her anything. Honestly, it's not my place to. Dylan's a big boy. He knows what he's doing.

"I see you got the twists. I knew they would look nice on you. You're beautiful."

"You're just being nice but thanks anyway."

"So what's been up with you? Anything new?"

"Nope." I usher Monica to sit down on the sofa. She pulls out a clear bottle and offers me some. I decline once I realize it's gin. I cover myself by telling her a lame lie. She shrugs it off and gulps down a swig of the drink.

We sit on the couch talking for a while before Monica turns to me with a dopey look. She rests her hand on my legs thrown across her lap. "What?" I ask giggling.

"I'm bored. I know this cool little restaurant on the beach. We should go there," she suggests, giving me a pouty look.

"Mon-"

"Please, Livi. We never do anything fun. And since you're trying to stay sober or whatever we don't even have to drink straight alcohol. Okay, forget that idea. Pleeeease?"

"Okay," I say giving in. Monica jumps up from the couch squealing and clapping her hands like a child. She yells at me to go get ready. I ask her if she needs to go home and change. She says no and starts taking off her sweats to reveal a tropical bikini that shows off her perfect curves just right. She then pulls out a thin cover-up from her large purse.

I can't help but laugh. "Oh, so you planned this. You were just warning me up before you asked."

"What can I say, people have a hard time saying 'no' to me."

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So I was able to update anyway. Thanks for holding up guys. I really appreciate it. If you like this book please share it with friends.

Oh just to let y'all know (i know bad grammar) anyway this story is getting ready to come to an end. Not sure if I want to do a sequel yet. Mostly depends on how this ends or if I'd even know where to start. Let me know what you guys think. Feel free to comment😋❤