Trust No One.

||Chp 15||

Chp 15:I regret it.

Anderson Grey.

It has been 2hrs since I received a text from Amber.She isn't picking up her phone too.I hope she's doing okay.Tryston said he got a call from the police station he had to go do his duty. I decided I should leave too.

I know I can't go back to my own house. Not now that they know the truth. They all hate me. They don't want anything to do with me.I get it. I guess I'll just stay at a hotel.

What was I thinking? It's obvious. She must have given it a thought and decided it's a wrong thing to do.She is putting her self in danger and loosing her best friend. I've lost mine. I know the feeling.

I had to choose between staying away from Kyle and telling him the truth. I guess I chose the wrong option. If I would have told him the truth that very day and the reason why I did it things would be better now.We all would be in a happy place. Instead I chose to hide. To hide the truth that ruined our friendship.

People think that I don't care. That I'm okay with killing Brandon. That's not true. I still have nightmares. I still hate myself for doing what I did. I thought about killing myself so badly one night.

It was at L.A. I had just met Trisha. I don't know why but I just felt like telling her everything. She was my first girlfriend. Before Kathleen and Kyle starred dating. I thought I could trust her with my secrets and Lies. I felt like opening up to her and I did.I guess I was wrong. If I was in her place I would do the same thing. She was close to Kathleen so it's obvious she told her the truth.

After I told her everything.I drank alot. Smoked some pot.I went back to the apartment I thought about everything. What I did that night after Prom.How I missed Graduation.

I betrayed my friend by sleeping with his girlfriend on a special night. A night that our whole class was going to remember.Our last night before we go our separate ways.

I made a terrible mistake and all the things that I did that night involved hurting Kyle. I ordered room service and after the guy left the room I picked up the fork and cut my arm. Blood gushed out from it and I just stood there crying and remembering that night. The night I murdered someone. I thought that it wasn't worth living.

I just kept thinking if I never went to see Mrs.Nicole. If I never teamed up with that pervert Andrew.Things would be different. I would be in college with Kyle and Ethan.Maybe Kyle would have forgiven me for sleeping with Kathleen. We would all be able to live our lives just the way it was.

I wish I could turn back time. I wish I didn't do the things I did. Even after returning here which I shouldn't have. Everyone was happy without the truth. Now the truth has destroyed them.

My parents don't want to talk to me.My brother too.They haven't said that they would come clean about it because obviously that would ruin my families reputation.

These past few years our family name has gone down. The rumors keep piling up. It's hard for my mom to work in the fashion industry targeted from all sides. Rumors hurt. They hurt my parents. They have hurt my family in the past. They are hurting my family now.They hurt me too.That's why I thought that the easy way out was to kill Brandon. I wasn't thinking about anything but how my family would be ruined if everyone came to know I was sleeping with Mrs.N.

My family knows what I did was sinful but if they told the truth they would loose everything. My brother isn't happy about my parents decision. I don't blame him.

My parents care to much about the name of our family,about our reputation. I just wanted to break free.All those parties and girls was just a get away card. I use to be the one who created drama always in school. So people would hate me.Then they wouldn't care that I was Anderson Grey. They would see me as a normal teenage guy.

I knew that sleeping with Mrs.N
was bad. But again it was just a distraction. That night after I left Trisha's place I was heading home. I knew I created drama by sleeping with Kathleen. I would find out if Kyle would forgive me. Even though I slept with his girlfriend he would come back to me.Then I would know that he really cares for me  and not just  because I'm Anderson Grey.

I should have just gone home. I wouldn't be in this situation I  am in right now.There is hope. Hope to start a new life. The more I think about what I did. The more it destroys Me.It's killing me. I need to let go.If no one is going to report me for what I did. That means I have a second chance.

The only thing I need to do know is stay away.I need to stay away from everyone I knew. I need to be with Tryston and Amber that is if she wants too.I'm not going to force her. She can decide what she wants. I don't want her to make a decision because of me. It should be because she really wants me.

I hope that she does. We had a connection at that Christmas party. That was the one night I forgot about everything bad that happened. I forgot about what I did and the people I hurt. I just keept thinking about what I could do, the changes I could make in my life and the people who I could love. With her it felt like I was in a trance. I need her. She was such a positive vibe that made me feel good.

I need to turn my life around.I'm going to start thinking about others, about their feelings and needs first. Instead of thinking about myself all the time. It dosen't matter if no one is gonna be around me and if that means I'll be alone. As long as I'm making a difference in my life.

I'm going to choose to do the right thing and be better and better each and every day. I can't control what's happened. But I can control how I feel. And all I want to feel is happiness.

____________________________________

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P.s - I know this book has shown that it is okay to kill someone and get away with it. Anderson has still not gone to jail just because he's rich. I know it's wrong to kill someone but sometimes it's okay like in the case of self defence.Anderson had a reason for doing what he did and punishing him would not bring Brandon back. They need to move on because the past is dark and depressing and they all are happy right now and they don't want to change that.

I hope you'll get that.

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