Trouble

Is This Death?

I tense, knowing that Jesse is going to explode if they say anything else about it, so I attempt to change the subject. "So, uh, I have a question.." I say awkwardly. "Ask away." Scott laughs. "Does this school have a dark room? You know, for developing film?" I ask. "Yeah, you shoot film?" Ben asks. I nod, holding up my camera shyly. "So do I." he smiles. "I could show you where it is if you want?" he suggests. This time its me smiling. "That would be really cool." I reply. "Cool." he replies, making eye contact with me. I look down at my tray, my cheeks heating up and probably firetruck red. "Ahem." I hear in my ear, causing me to flinch. Guy Jesse raises an eyebrow. "You okay over there?" he chuckles, a deep, throaty laugh. I nod, not looking up. "So do you guys play any sports?" I ask, finally looking up. "I play soccer and basketball." Scott answers. "I wrestle and do track." Ben smiles. "And I play basketball with Scott." Jesse says. "Cool." I nod. I nudge Jesse and raise an eyebrow when she looks up at me, silently asking her what's wrong. She shrugs and glances at Seth, who is glaring angrily at his phone. "You okay man?" she asks. "Yup. Just a little girlfriend trouble." he answers. "Again? Just dump her man." Mike pipes up. "Yeah man, it seems like its been everyday this week, and last week, oh yeah, and the week before. She's not worth it man, there is other girls out there." John says. I  raise an eyebrow, opening my mouth to say something, then closing it again. "Were you gonna say something?" Seth asks, not unkindly. "Yeah, I was gonna say she sounds like she isn't worth it to be honest.. How long have you guys been together, if you don't mind me asking?" I ask. "Two months.." he answers quietly. "Ah.. Okay. How much longer do we have in this period?" I ask. "About 45 minutes. Why?" Ben answers. "I was gonna go wander, this food is making my stomach make weird noises and I think a walk will make it better. I might go see if I can find that dark room." I smile. "Thanks for letting us sit with you guys." I add, smiling as I stand up. "I can show you where the dark room is right now if you want?" Ben offers. "That would be great." I smile and start walking in a random direction. "Addison!" he calls. I spin around. "Huh?" "Other way." he grins. "I knew that, I was testing you to see if you knew that." I laugh and follow him, stopping at the table. "You coming?" I ask Jesse. She stands up quietly, thanks the guys, and follows me quietly. "Oh." Ben says when Jesse and I reach him. "Hm?" I ask. "I thought it was just going to be you and me, I didn't know Caden was coming too.." he replies quietly. "Well I think Caden deserves to know how to get to the place I'll be spending most of my time." I laugh, trying to make light of an otherwise heavy situation. "Plus if I wasn't here, you'd probably try to make a move on a hot girl like her, and piss her boyfriend off like another guy already has today." Jesse adds, laughing and breaking out of her shell. I blush. "Well, I don't blame him," he says to Jesse, then turns to me. "You're gorgeous.." he blushes, causing me to blush. I hear a slamming noise in my ear and giggle a little bit. Jesse's phone dings and she pulls it out to check it. "That's him now, he says for me to punch anybody who tries to make a move on her or anybody that flirts with her in the nose. Perfect timing." she laughs, obviously entertained by this situation. "Quite the charmer, aren't you Addison?" she laughs some more. I roll my eyes and stomp away, not interested in seeing the dark room anymore. "Touchy much?" Jesse calls after me. I flip her off and keep walking in the direction I was heading in. 45 minutes to wander around all by myself in a large, new school, hmmm... I hear footsteps running after me. "Addison, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.." Ben calls after me. "I know, its just the fact that my boyfriend is really overprotective and I don't like joking around about flirting with other guys because he might take me seriously and think that I actually am.. I just want it to be clear that I am taken and only want friends at the moment, okay? I don't know if I was portraying something else or what, so I'm sorry if I was, I didn't mean too.." I rush out, then turn and continue walking away. I'd walk forever if I could. I don't know what my sudden change in emotions was, but at the moment I don't want to be around anybody, and there is one place I know that I can go to do that. I turn a corner and walk until I find the door to the music room that Jesse and I were in earlier, the room where we ran into Oliver. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when I saw that the recording booth is empty and I duck inside, shutting the door behind me. "Babe, you there?" I ask. Silence. I run my fingers through my hair, letting out a shaky breath. I hear quiet music coming from somewhere and I realize what the song is and start singing along, taking out the ear piece and sliding the headphones over my ears to block out all other noises. "I hope you know, I hope you know that this is nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we got some figuring out to do, and I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I've gotta get a move on in my life. Its time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry..." I sing loudly, sliding down the wall onto the ground like the tears sliding down my face. "What the fuck is wrong with me..." I say softly to myself, pulling the headphones off of my ears and replacing them on the stand. "Nothing is wrong with you princess.." I hear softly and muffled, coming from my earpiece. I take it and put it back in my ear. "Don't forget, Jesse can hear everything you say.." I reply, shutting my eyes. "I don't care. I wanna know what is wrong with my princess." Zack answers. "I don't know. I truly honestly have no fucking clue..." I say softly, tears falling down my face. "This just came out of literally nowhere. I was standing talking with Ben and Jesse one minute, and the next, I feel the need to be alone, and I got this overwhelming sense of sadness for no fucking reason!" I say. "Jesse wants to know where you are and what's going on." is Zack's reply. "Music room and I don't know..." I say softly, wiping my eyes so Jesse doesn't see me crying. "Music room and you don't know?" he repeats. I nod, forgetting that he can't see me. "She said, she'll be right there, don't leave. Your singing was beautiful by the way baby girl.." he tells me. "Thanks.." I say, feeling my self losing energy. "Hold on tight, help is on the way." he tells me, probably hearing what I'm feeling. "I don't feel good Zack.." I whisper. "Hold on tight, don't go anywhere. Jesse is almost there.. Do you hear me? I said, Jesse... is... almost.... there...." his voice and my vision slowly get more and more distorted. "I love you Zack.." is what I try to say through the mouth full of cotton that I have. Wait, when did that cotton get in my mouth. My vision is getting blurrier and more distorted and I hear a door open and slam shut, and even though its right through the door of the room that I am in, it sounds like its a million miles away. I see Jesse throw the door open and run over to me, and I smile, feeling myself drift towards the ground slowly, when in reality, I'm just falling over, consumed by the blackness that has been crowding my vision. Jesse reaches me, yelling over her shoulder, presumably for help, although there is no sound. I smile once more, feeling Jesse's grip on my hand, tears streaming down my face, and the last thing I see before the blackness completely takes over my vision is Ben, Oli, Seth, and a couple of teaches crowding through the doorway.

~A/N~

Woah, heavy chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Anybody wanna take a guess what happened to Skai/ Addison? No? Fine, be that way *pouts* Hope you guys aren't mad at me for ending the chapter on such a big cliffhanger, haha. Anyways, love you guys, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you. Peace.

~Madi~