Tapout

Whatever it Takes.

Chapter 41

We both decided to take a nap, no matter how much she fought it sleep overcame her. Which is understandable, your body sleeps and dreams to process everything and she has a shit ton to process. I actually slept better than I have slept in a few days. Until my dream woke me up.

Riley stood in front of me but as I reached out for her hand she withdrew it. Her chestnut eyes were darkened by her widening pupils. "Baby girl what's wrong?"

"Who are you?"

"No. Sweetheart it's me Lucas remember? We just spent several hours going over our first few weeks together. Please!"

"I want you to stay the fuck away from me." She spins around to waltz away and no matter how hard or fast I run I can't catch up to her.

So here I am right now staring out the window, Josh went to gather all of our friends so when she wakes up we'll all be there. I'm curious to know if she recollects Zay and Maya. Drops of rain fall down the glass when a pound of thunder crashes against the Earth and that seems to have woken her up. "Spar-Lucas?"

"I'm here." I stroll to the side of her bed and sit in my chair. I've grown to despise this stupid pleather thing but it's the closest I can get to my Riley. "You can call me whatever you want."

She nods lightly and stares off into space. "I'm not the same girl you love. Am I?"

God take a fucking hammer to my heart would you? Shit. I gulp and maneuver my gaze to lock in on hers. "You are the same girl I met whenever you first moved here. I love that side of you. I love every side of you, but you and I went through a lot. We had no secrets from one another, we were open and honest about everything. Even when I tell you everything, it won't be the same as living it. Hell, you risked losing a match because you thought it would disappoint me."

"No I didn't." I can't help but laugh because she seems so confused and so sure. But, at the same time with those words I know she doesn't love me. Not right now at least.

"Yeah you did. I lost my virginity that night. So trust me, I remember every single detail." I told her about Dana and how she broke the arm bar because she could practically smell disappointment from me. I explained my 'do whatever you have to' policy. And though I didn't go into extreme detail about what happened in the shower and then 3 times later. I made it abundantly clear how amazing it was.

Once I'm done I give her a few minutes of silence to process everything until I can't hold it back anymore. "I know you will probably say no but I can't not try. Can I kiss you?"

Her eyes widened while she sat up. "No." Fuck, that hurt. Especially because she wanted nothing more at one point and time to just kiss the crap out of me. I drop my head to avoid her seeing the disappointed look on my face. "Not on my lips." With one swift motion I place a kiss on her cheek and linger for a few moments. She still smells like herself even though we've been in the hospital for days. I sneak in a forehead kiss before I pull away. "Look I uh, I mean you say you love me but I don't remem-"

"I know you don't." Please don't say that, I'm already on the verge of a breakdown. "Trust me we've had this conversation a thousand times and I'm not going anywhere." A small smile approaches her lips and I think she liked that. "I know you don't know me, and you don't love me. But, if you give me a chance I will show you why you fell in love with me in the first place."

Her lips separated to say something when the door opened. Dana, Eagle, Jon, Johnson, Maya and Zay all walk in along with Josh. "Jon, Johnson!" She screeches. I meander towards my friends and pull them to the side.