Tapout

I'm Out?

Chapter 40

No. No. No. "Sir, we need you to leave."

"NO! I'm not going anywhere." I throw my arm out of the nurses grasp and rush back towards my girl. "Riley, you don't-"I gulp and am already forcing back every single fucking tear while ushering out these words. "You don't remember me?"

Her eyes narrow in on me and her brows knit together in confusion. She's studying my face, "You're my neighbor."

I don't know if you've ever had this feeling before. The one where you literally have no words, you feel like someone is choking you and punching you in the stomach ridding your entire body of oxygen. Mix that with someone ripping out your heart and crushing it over and over again and that's how I feel. "Riley." That's all I could get out before the tears fell. I remember everything about her, I remember everything. Every time she shuddered when I'd tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. How addicted she was to my kisses, and how feisty she would be in the morning. But she doesn't remember how she'd sleep in my shirt, or how she loved my cologne.

It's gone. But it isn't her fault. It's mine, I let her get in that ring. I let her do this for me. Because I was her end game. "RILEY!" I flip my head towards the door and Josh is standing at the entryway.

"JOSH!" Her arms wrap around his neck and another wave of emotions hits me like waves crashing against rocks. "What the fuck is going on?"

Josh instantly throws his head at me. I'm a fucking mess, I'm basically having an anxiety attack right now. I'm trying to breathe but I can't, my face is a mixture of exhaustion and tears, and on top of that I am in literal pain. I don't know how. I'm just standing there staring at her. Josh places Riley into his chest and mouths the words 'I'm sorry'. My hands run across my face and I just want to hold her.

I just want her in my arms.

But if I do that she'll be even more creeped out.

I've lost my Riley.

"Riley what do you remember?" She pushed herself off of Josh and landed on the pillows. Her eyes continually moving from left to right as she ran through the files in her mind.

Please find me Riley. "I remember moving to Katy. I remember going for a work out and coming home at 6 in the morning. And I remember telling him my name." She gestures towards me, "Does somebody want to explain to me what the fuck is going on? Why am I in a damn hospital, why the hell is Lucas, that's your name right? Why the hell is Lucas crying?"

I feel like I've been stabbed. I have to get out of here, but I can't move. I'm frozen, staring at her. "Please try to think sweetheart." She turns her head with my whisper and furrows her brows.

"Gentleman I'm sorry we need you to go. We need to run a few tests on her."

"Like hell you are." She snaps and tries to stand.

"I must insist ma'am."

Her eyes glare at the doctor when Josh presses her back on the bed. "Shut the fuck up Riley and do as he says we'll explain everything when you're done." I still can't move. There she is the love of my life, a few feet away from me and I can't rush to her. I can't hold her without getting punched, I can't kiss her if I ever wanted kids in the future. And I do. I want her to have my kids but all of that seems like a pipe dream.

God, I knew it would hurt but I literally can't fucking breathe. If it weren't for Josh yanking me out of the room I doubt I could've left. "Luke."

And the tears come falling down. "She doesn't remember me Josh."

"She will. Just give her some time."