Firefly

|Ch. 11|

Each weekend following, I'd muster up all these excuses to Brian to leave the party early. I would have to craft out the perfect white lie to tell him, in order to go to see Alex. Each story built with the next, as I kept coming up with homework excuses, roommate problems, and even my pet dog dying. The funny thing was I didn't even have a dog. A pang of guilt would run through my veins every time I told him but then once I saw Alex's gleaming face, my worries vanished. Until tonight.

I had no clue what my justification was. My mind raced as the hours ticked by and I couldn't muster up another lie. My conscience was overcoming my whole demeanor around Brian and I could tell he knew something was up.

"Hey, look babe, I'm not feeling too well. I feel really sick right now," I said squeezing my stomach.

"I'll take you back to your dorm then, you shouldn't walk back yourself," Brian said as he stopped talking to one of his frat brothers.

The crowd around Brian seemed to fade away as he looked over at me with a fretful look on his face.

"No, no. It's okay I can do it," I muttered as I turned around.

I took one step thinking I had gotten away until a light hand touched my shoulder. I stopped instantly in my tracks.

Crap.

"Maddie, you don't look good. Just let me do this for you, please."

I looked up into his glittering blue eyes as he kissed me on the forehead.

Ever since I had that talk with Brian, his whole conduct seemed to change. He was more cautious towards me and actually asked me about myself. These stronger feelings towards Brian were confusing me even more.

Why couldn't he just go back to ignoring me? It would make spending time with Alex more enjoyable. But, me with my big mouth had to tell Alex.

A girl walked over to Brian and I and said, "Is she okay?"

I tilted my head up to get a clearer view as I grunted. It was dirty contour girl. At that point at time, I had considered throwing up on her Louis Vuitton shoes.

"No she doesn't feel well, can you watch her while I go try and find something to help her stomach?" Brian asked.

What was I? A dog? I could handle myself.

The girl nodded as she stood beside me looking me up and down. Her long hair was perfectly curled and her bright blue eyes sparkled.

I stood there trying to look around the party and decide if I should make a dash out of the back door. My eyes caught Brian as I saw him hurriedly searching the drawers in the kitchen. He quickly grabbed some bottle and ran back over to where I was.

"Thanks," he muttered to the girl.

She huffed and turned her head as she glared at me and flipped her hair. I rolled my eyes as Brian took my hand and weaved through the hundreds of people leading me to his bedroom in the frat house. I looked around his messy room as I saw half eaten pizza's laying around. Suddenly, the body odor aroma hit my nose. If I wasn't sick before, I was now.

"Here, take this," Brian said shoving a bottle of Pepto Bismal in my face.

I giggled under my breath as I took a shot of the pink substance.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked.

"I'm sick."

"Not now, you don't think I've noticed you've been leaving every party early? What's up?"

I sat there motionless. My brain tried to search for every possible answer except the truthful one.

"I've just had a lot of things going on my life right now."

"You know you can tell me anything," Brian replied as he placed his hands on my leg.

I gripped my warm necklace and threaded it around my fingers. I had such a strong connection now with Brian, but it just didn't seem to work as effortlessly as Alex.

Brian's phone dinged as I saw a text appear on his phone reading, "Where are you?"

I noticed the time read 1 a.m. and I instantly dropped my gaze to the floor.

"Forget about them, I am only focused on you right now. You mean the absolute world to me, Maddie. What's going on? Please, let me in," Brian pleaded.

My lips began to quiver as I held back tears.

"I guess I am just overwhelmed with school and my roommate constantly talking to me about how she senses her soulmate surrounding her. It's just that I want to focus on myself, but it's hard to do that with all these distractions."

Well, at least I told the partial truth. I did have a distraction, Alex.

"You can do that, just forget about them. Don't care what other people think or say, just do what you want to do," Brian replied as he rubbed my leg.

He had no clue what advice he was telling me. I desperately wanted to ignore what other people would say about Alex and I but it couldn't happen. And, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Alex and I could never be. If only it was as simple as doing what I wanted to do.

"Thanks," I said kissing him softly on the lips.

Another ding was heard on Brian's phone as looked down.

"Go, the crowd awaits you," I said motioning towards the door.

"You coming?" He asked.

"I think I am just going to go back to my room. I drove over here anyway and I feel a little better after the medicine."

Brian stared lovingly back at me as I watched him walk out of the room and the door shut. I quickly jetted out of his room, avoiding Brian as I rushed out of the back door.

I jetted to my blue punch bug, and immediately drove the seamless path that I had driven what seemed like hundreds of times before. I pulled over to the side of the road and breathed out a shriek as I didn't see Alex's truck.

My mind was racing on whether to go back to my room or just wait here for him. Then again, did he leave?

My concentration wandered as I came up with thousands of excuses as to why Alex wasn't here.
Out of spite, I got out of my car and began to walk into the spine-chilling woods. I took out my flashlight and could hear Alex's voice in my head say, "put that away," from the first time we hung out together.

I laughed as I made my way through the rough woods and finally made it to the tall grassy area. I sat down and looked at the small group of fluttering fireflies. There were less of the little critters flying out today as the woods seemed to concave darkness onto me.

Suddenly, I couldn't hold in the tears any longer. A rush of water came out of my eyes as I couldn't bear holding it in. A flood rushed down my face as I tried to wipe off the tears with my hands.

I didn't know how to handle this remorse in my mind anymore. I loved Brian but I was madly in love with Alex. My heart fluttered at the thought of him. I just couldn't imagine life without either of them though. I realized that I had to choose one of them, I couldn't live this lie anymore. I finally had to express which one meant the most to me.

I was startled as a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned around and reached their gaze as a gasp escaped from my mouth.

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YAY! SURPRISE CHAPTER!!! So do you guys think that Brian really cares for Maddie now? And who is the mystery person that grabbed Maddie's shoulder at the end? HMM...so many questions!!! Be prepared for Chapter 12 on Friday!!! It's probably one of my favorite chapters that I wrote :)