Firefly

|Ch. 13|

The tanging dry throat hit me every day I woke. Even though only a week had passed, it felt like months. My consciousness was tugging in every way possible. I felt like I was spiraling into a bad dream and I couldn't wake up. It took every waking moment in me to rise out of bed and go to class.

Eventually, my feet hit the cold floor and I walked into the bathroom turning on the icy water. I let it trickle onto me, feeling the sting of the frostiness on my bare skin. I stood there motionless, trying to gather my senses. Eventually, I sucked up the slight tear coming out of my eye and continued on.

I dragged my feet out of the shower and trotted back to the dorm to get ready for my first class. I put on makeup trying to cover my red eyes and face. I picked out a simple pair of blue jeans and a loose white shirt to wear for the day.

I saw Sally still laying down snuggled up in her bed and a thought occurred to me. She didn't have to worry about all this pain when she found her soulmate. I could already tell she was madly in love with him, and she hadn't even met him. I wanted that.

I picked up my book bag, swung it over my shoulder, and walked out of the dorm. Each step I took down the long stairs drug on as I felt the weight of the bag pulling me down. Ultimately, I trudged into the chill morning. Autumn was beginning and I looked around and saw the orange and red trees surrounding me.

I breathed in a breath of the crisp air and exhaled heavily. I briskly walked to my first class observing the people that passed by me in a blur.

The rest of the class, went by in a haze. I walked over to the cafeteria and texted Brian I was on my way. Everyday was a routine to me by now, I was expecting what was going to happen before it did. I was missing a spark in my life, but I tried to dismiss that feeling when I saw Brian.

I walked up the steep stairs and saw Brian standing at the top. He gleamed from head to toe the moment he saw me. A slight smile escaped from my mouth as he reached to grab my hand.

"Our lunch awaits, my lady," Brian exclaimed.

I chuckled lightly and followed him into the overflowing piles of people crowded into the cafeteria.

"So appetizing," I murmured.

Brian grinned at me and I followed his lead as he went to the salad bar. I filled up my plate with the crunchy lettuce and plenty of toppings. I trailed beside Brian as we plopped down into the usual place we always sit.

"So, what do you say we spend the day tomorrow together?" Brian asked me.

"Gosh guys, stop being the perfect couple," Matt replied.

I laughed as I looked over at Matt's necklace neatly hanging on to his white V-neck t-shirt. I speculated who Matt could be paired with. He never talked about it, and he always seemed reserved about the subject.

"What about you, Matt? Do you have any clue who Mrs. Perfect could be?" I said chewing on my lettuce and pointing my fork at his necklace.

Matt quickly touched his necklace and looked at me piercingly. His quivering lips were searching for an answer and I could tell he was deciding on what to say to me. My mind flashed back to Alex's shaky voice and his blood shot eyes looking at me searching for something to say.

I was forced back into reality when Matt said, "I don't know. But whoever she is, I'm sure she'll be great."

"Yeah dude, whenever you find the one, you will feel complete. Trust me on this, I know it first hand," Brian responded as he put his arm around me.

I forcefully kissed Brian on the cheek but it just didn't seem authentic. I felt like I was loosing some inspiration in my life. I could tell Brian was trying his hardest with me, but I just couldn't tell if his intentions were true or not. I could never put my finger on how he truly felt about me.

My eyes meandered through the bustling ravenous college students searching for some faint sign of Alex. I always sought for him anywhere I was going, it was a force of habit, I guess.

I piddled my fork around my plate as my appetite weakened.

I noticed Matt and Brian were silent as they were waiting on me to still reply to Brian's affection for me. I guess the kiss wasn't enough.

"Yeah, he means a lot to me too," I mentioned as I playfully punched his arm.

Brian let out a slight chuckle as Matt gazed at me puzzled. Was he catching on to me? Could he sense something was wrong with me? No, that's not possible. Matt barely even knew me.

"Are you ready to head off to class?" I briefly asked.

"Yeah," Brian began, "hey man, good luck at finding that girl."

Matt nodded and Brian cocked his head back laughing as we walked away. I could sense Matt's eyes were tracing every move I made as Brian and I left the cafeteria. Something about him had changed, but I couldn't figure it out.

"Are you ready for the lovely Mrs. Holiday's class?" Brian inquired as he swung our entangled hands.

"Of course, but just because you're there." I retorted.

Brian beamed at me as we strolled on to a class I had become far too familiar with. Every waking moment in the class was a constant reminder of Alex.

We walked into the cool building and weaved around the multiple halls filled with classrooms. Brian paced in front of me and opened the class door as I walked in.

"Thank you kind..." I began to say turning back to Brian.

Suddenly, my train of thought was sidetracked as Alex walked in right behind me.

"Thanks man," Alex said to Brian.

He walked by me with a breeze and didn't even pay any attention as if I existed.

"No problem," Brian said as he laid his back on the door winking at me.

I stood with Brian at the door as people filed into the class. My eyes caught Alex trudging to his seat near the front of the classroom and sitting down in his usual place.

I inspected as he carefully pulled out his notebook and mechanical pencils neatly on his desk. I jumped as the door shut with a thud. Brian grabbed my hand and we climbed the stairs up to our seats. I gripped Brian's hand harder as I tried my hardest to not look in Alex's way as we passed by his row.

"Dang girl, you have a grip don't you?" Brian cackled.

I rolled my eyes as we slithered into our row and sat down.

I aimlessly droned out Mrs. Holiday's monotonous voice and doodled on my notebook.

"Now, who am I suppose to get notes from after class?" Brian asked as he pointed to my doodle of a turtle.

I gazed up at Mrs. Holiday trying to ignore his ill-worded question. My heart began to patter as I could see Alex in my peripheral vision. My hand picked back up my pen and proceeded to scribble trying to rid him out of my life forever.

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YAY! I am on a roll with these surprise chapters now, huh? So, do you guys think that Alex has completely ridden Maddie from his thoughts? Also, who do you guys picture playing Brian, Alex, Maddie, Sally, and Matt in a movie? Comment your thoughts :)