Firefly

|Ch. 12|

My eyes enlarged as Alex captivatingly touched my back and sat down in the muggy grass beside me. He was silent for a moment as I tried my best to sniff back my tears. An electric force ran through my veins as he comfortingly rubbed my back through my sobs.

"I'm.." I began.

Alex quickly shushed me and we sat there in silence for a moment.

"You don't have to talk about it," he responded.

I turned towards him and looked at his iridescent green eyes glistening at me. My eyes departed down to his shirt as I saw his necklace neatly tucked underneath his green shirt. I reached over to him and pulled it out holding it into my hands as he swiftly grasped my hand looking at me exasperated. I took a hold of mine which was ice cold. I sighed heavily as they didn't match.

"What's going on?" Alex asked.

"I just thought that.." I trailed.

Alex recognized what I was trying to see, nodded, and looked down at the ground. I watched as he twirled pieces of glass and my heart thudded firmer. My stomach began to churn and my palms became clammy. My head was spinning as my thoughts tried to gather themselves.

"I love you," I blurted out.

Immediately, he stopped twirling and gazed befuddled at me. Suddenly, a firefly landed on my hand on the ground and I picked it up.

"I love you as much as a firefly," I began, showing him the critter, "with a bright, burning passion."

Alex's eyes glimmered as he studied my facial expressions and smiled saying, "I love you, too."

Even though we had never even kissed I felt such an initial attraction to him, I couldn't help but grin. We related on such a deeper level than any physical relationship. He understood me and he knew everything about me. I was so entranced in his wings of love at this time that my eyes fluttered. He reached over and took my hand into his.

"You've taught me to take life to easily and to live in the moment never looking back. But, I've tried so hard to suppress these feelings for you because I knew where this would lead," I indicated as he gripped my hands even harder.

"Where would it lead?" Alex questioned.

I could see a sense of hesitation in his eyes. I dreaded to tell him what the reality of our relationship could lead to. I just didn't know if I was ready for facing the realization of what could happen.

I tried to push those thoughts into the back of my mind as I said, "You know what Mrs. Holiday has been saying about all of this. That no one else has experienced this before. I just don't know what to do."

Alex begrudgingly sighed. I searched into his eyes for some revelation of hope but he seemed to be focused on his contemplations.

"I will fight for us. I will fight for all the other "fireflies" in this world whose light has faded." He said as he looked out at the glittering bugs.

I just still didn't know if that was enough though. In the back of my mind, I knew that if our love was let out we would burn our relationship to the ground and we might not be able to reconstruct it.

"But you you see the thing is, "we can't be together." That's what they have implanted in our heads," I said exhaling.

Alex's face changed as the words came rushing out my mouth. He plummeted his eyes and I could tell he was scattering on what to express.

"We are going to prove them wrong," Alex blatantly said.

I felt as if I was on a roller coaster right now and the only way was downcast. Every inch of my body was infuriated with passion. The saddest love though, is for me to love him so much and know that he still wants me but the circumstances won't let me have him.