Bullied By Dan Howell

Part 27

*Pickup*

"How are you?" I asked wiping my eyes and pulling out of his hug. "Do you want the honest answer or okay?" he asked. He always said that. "Honest answer" I responded. "Okay well I'm doing horribly, look" he said pulling up his sleeves revealing old scars, new scars, and new cuts. "It's going to be okay, please don't cut" I said warmly just as he always said. I pulled him into a hug and we stood there for about 5 minutes just making up for the 5 years apart. "Uhh.." I heard Dan say. "Dan, this is Gabriel. Gabriel, this is my boyfriend Dan" I introduced them. "Pleasure" Gabriel said shaking Dan's hand. "How do you know him?" Dan asked. "I met him when I was twelve. He was here too. He was the only one there for me" I explained. He nodded. "Okay, well I'll leave you guys to it. Don't have to much fun" he joked with a wink. "I love you" I said hugging Dan. "I love you to babe" he cooed while rubbing my back. "I wish you could stay here at night with me. I don't want to be alone" I sighed. "Me to love" he said. Once we started talking a voice came on all throughout the hospital. "Visitors; Visiting hours are over please make your way to an exit, thank you." My heart starting pounding out of my chest. "Bye my love" he said then kissed me and walked out. "Bye babe" I said as he closed the door. I locked the door and changed into one of Dan's jumpers. I felt safe with his clothes on. It was so comfortable. He left his cologne, a few jumpers, two pairs of sweatpants, and his black skinny jeans. He also brought all of my normal necessities of clothes, undergarments, and a hair and tooth brush and toothpaste. Of course he didn't bring makeup because he hates when I wear it.

I tucked myself in and attempted to put my right arm around my waits like Dan did so I didn't feel alone. I ended up crying uncontrollably, I needed Dan. I texted him.

E- Hey baby. Are you awake?

D- Hey my love. I'm awake. Can't sleep ;-;

E- I miss you so much

D- I miss you too love

E- I'm scared here. I'm alone and it's really dark

D- I wish I was there

E- Me too

I ended up putting my earbuds in and listening to music. I fell asleep to Dan singing 'Your Guardian Angel' I recorded it and saved it on my phone. I put it on loop and continued to listen. I fell asleep peacefully even though my cheeks and pillow were stained with salty tears.

*The next morning*

I woke up and put on Dan's sweatpants and still had his jumper on. I picked up my laptop and went on YouTube, my escape from reality. I felt a tiny buzz on my bed. I picked up my phone and saw a text from Phil.

P- Hey Em. I heard about where you're at, I'm so sorry.

E- Hey Philly, It's not your fault. It's mine.

P- No it's not love. Dan and I will be there to see you in about 2 hours

E- Okay, how are both of you?

P- I'm alright. Dan's an emotional mess, he could barley sleep last night.

E- Aww. I wish I was there

P- Me too love. Well I have to get going, I'm almost dressed, then I have to tame this awful hair.

E- Okay, I'll see you soon.

I decided to text Dan.

E- Hey baby

D- Hey love, how are you? Did you get sleep?

E- I'm okay. And I didn't get much sleep but I fell asleep to you singing I may or may not have recorded your singing.

D- As long as you fell asleep I'm fine with that x

E- x. I miss you. How are you?

D- I'm alright; I'm tired and I miss you too ;-;

E- Phil said you're coming in about 2 hours. I just want to see you guys

D- I want to see you to.

E- I'll let you go get ready. Love you

D- Love you too and I'll see you soon. x

E- x

I wiped my face with my hands to wake myself up. I didn't plan on eating today. I turned my laptop back on and went on Tumblr as usual. I scrolled through the 'Dan Howell' tag just because. I found out he had a YouTube channel and so does Phil. They've had them a few years. I decided to watch a few of their videos. They were amazing.

(A/n: So this is in 2016 but Dan is 17 and Phil is 16; so Dan's older in this. They've also had most of their videos so far but it just progressed faster. I hope that makes sense)

I heard a knock at the door. I sighed but got up and opened it. I saw Gabriel dressed up in a hoodie and skinny jeans as usual with his blue beanie and band bracelets. "Hey Em" he said smiling. "Hey. What's up?" I asked. "I found something" he said reaching in his back pocket. I welcomed him in and we sat down on my bed. "This" he said handing me a notepad. I opened the first page and saw my old writing. I didn't talk much so I chose to write. "H-How'd you find this?" I asked as memories rushed through my head. I came back to see you the day after you left, and you accidentally left it on your nightstand" he admitted. "Wow" I said whilst flipping through the pages. "Oh and I found this" he said placing a gold locket in my hands. I noticed it was the locket with a picture of my old dog Ruby. "Thank you so much" I said hugging him. "Anytime" he said with a smile.

He went to the cafeteria and I stayed in my room waiting for Dan and Phil. About an hour and a half later Dan and Phil walked through my door. "Hey guys" I said getting up and hugging them. "Hey Em" they said in unison while hugging me back. I was basically in the middle of a Dan and Phil sandwich (or should I say phanwich). "I missed you guys" I said looking up at them. "We missed you too" Phil said as Dan nodded. "I may or may not have found something.." I said. They looked nervous. "You're YouTube channels. They're amazing" I said. "Oh..Well thanks" Dan said. "Dan, can I tell you something? Phil you already know" I said looking down at my feet. "Of course" he said. I walked over to my bed and got the notepad from under the pile of sheets and handed it to Dan.

(Dan's Pov)

Emma gave me a notepad. I was confused until I opened the first page.

So, everyone I write to; I don't talk because I don't deserve to. I should have died a while ago. I'm worthless, fat, ugly, stupid, and unloved. No one cares whether I live or die, and there's nothing anyone can say to change that. I know I should talk, eat, and stop cutting, but that won't happen any time soon. So either talk or write back because that will be our only communication.

I looked at Emma then continued to read the next page.

E- I'm Emma, and you are? ; G- I'm Gabriel. I'm guessing you don't talk either; E- I don't; G- Do you want to try to talk, I can help you?; E- No, I don't deserve to talk; G- Who told you that? You're gorgeous, whoever told you that don't believe them; E- It's not worth a waist of breath, they'll just do something to you; G- Who would this be?; E- 2 guys Dylan, and Percy. And a girl who is Dylan's girlfriend, Ava; G- That sucks. I want to help. Have you ever cut?; E- Yeah that's why I'm here; G- Same

"Wow. I never knew you were mute" I said. She nodded. I pulled her into a hug. "I love you and I will forever"

(A/n: I hope you enjoyed that chapter. We're getting more and more reads by the day. Thanks guys xx)