Random Shit in my Head - Diary of a Problem Child 2016 (completed)

This Week On 'I Didn't Know I Was A Satanist'

So I'm not religious. I've said this who-knows-how-many-times. But I found the rules for satanism (I don't know how) and I figured out that it's more about loving yourself than it is worshiping the devil. 

And here are the rules of Satanism. (Italics is what I thing about it)

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

Nobody will listen to you if they don't care.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you know they want to hear them.

That's what friends do though...

3. When in another's lair, show him respect or do not go there.

That's obvious.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

I do that anyway.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

What the fuck is a 'mating signal'?

6. Do not take that which was not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they ciy out to be relived.

That is awkward as fuck wording.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success,you will lose all you have obtained.

Well, I'm not going to deny it, but I've never used magic.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

This one is also obvious. If you don't like it, don't do it.

9. Do not harm little children.

What about big children?

10. Do not kill any non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

Fun Fact - Humans are actually animals considering humans are mammals.

11. When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

MORTAL COMBAT!!!
FINISH HIM!!!
FATALITY!!!!!!

And now for the sins:

1. Stupidity

What kind of stupidity? Or is it just general stupidity?

2. Pretentiousness

Every Basic Bitch/Bastard failed this one immediately.

3. Solipsism

I failed it.

4. Self-Deceit

I'm okay but not all the time.

5. Herd Conformity

Done. This sin (to me) is the easiest one of all nine.

6. Lack of Perspective

This one is difficult and easy to overlook but important

7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodox

Because it is SO HARD to forget a religion your parents live and breathe.

8.  Counterproductive Pride

Don't be an prideful asshole. Just be an asshole.

9. Lack of Aesthetics

I got nothing for this one.

Random side note - If you are a satanist and are reading this, no I am not being a bitch on purpose. It's just first thing that went through my head when I read these. I am sorry if I offended you in anyway, shape or form.