Breaking Dawn

Chapter 8: Saturday, August 12th

My mind is jumbled on the way home. Did I really just give him a kiss on the cheek? No, there's no way, I don't love- I mean like him that much... Who am I kidding, I love him. I keep trying to convince myself that I don't, but it's unconditionally so. I can only hope Edward will forgive my perfidy, accepting my struggle, but I know it is not that easy. He is struggling too.
Edward is of good intentions. I truly love him, his susurrous voice, his inexplicable kindness... I don't know if I actually do want him to forgive me. I would feel as though I am taking advantage of him. I know I would be taking advantage of him.
For the rest of the day, Jake is on my mind. How I wish I had the guts to actually kiss him, but how I would hate myself forever if I did that.
I sent Alice a text about an hour ago, and she said she had to finish something and she would be at my house right after. I'm not too worried, though. She is having fun with Jasper, and I don't want to ruin her fun.
Since I got home, I have been listening to calm music on the radio and cleaning my room. My room isn't exactly dirty, but I suppose it could use some TLC. I wash my blankets, sheets, and pillowcases, sweep the floor, and clean the windows. I am not a dirty person, but dust does settle.
I hear a honk outside, and look out my window. It's Edward, and he's standing just outside of his car door.
Walking carefully down the stairs, because I know I am accident prone, I make my way to Edward's car. He does not seem amused, he seems... angry.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks.
"Edward, it's not as you think it is..." I start, but he is quick to interrupt me.
"No, that's not what I'm talking about."
I knew he would know about Jacob, but I had figured he would talk to me sooner about it if he really wanted to.
"I'm talking about Leonard," he says coldly.
"Edward, I would have told you if I was in immediate danger and-"
"The future changes Bella, and he's coming this Friday."
My head drops, along with my stomach. I knew it would end up not in my favor if I withheld information from Edward, everything ends up not in my favor.
"When did you plan on telling me, five months from now? He could change his mind again, Bella, and he could come sooner. We need to get you out of Forks."
"I'm not leaving," I say. "Just change me, I can protect myself."
"Bella, I have told you the dangers of being a newborn at a time like this. I have told you how your thirst would be, and I want to be married first."
My heart rate increases and I'm sure Edward can hear it. This means another protection detail, as Rosalie calls them. Another fight and another time in everyone's lives wasted.
"So what are we going to do?" I ask in the politest way I can at the moment.
"We're going to leave Forks like I said, Bella. Pack your things."
"Edward, if we leave Forks and he still comes here, he will find my dad and get him."
"The wolves will take care of your dad, I already talked to Sam Uley." He is set on getting me out of town.
"Okay, and where would we go?" I ask, since it seems he has this all planned out.
"We could take this next week to visit your mother," he lets a half smile slip. He knows that this will win me over.
I do miss my mother, but Jacob would be lost without me nearby.
"I already talked to Jacob," he says, reading my expression. "Well, Carlisle did. Jacob said that he will be okay without you for a week, so long as you are safe. Of course, he said he could go visit your mother with you, but Carlisle said the pack will need him."
I smile. It almost seems too perfect, aside from the fact that I am being aggressively hunted down by a bloodthirsty vampire. "Okay," I agree. "When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow morning, our plane leaves at eight. But you are staying with me tonight, I am not risking anything."
I am about to go pack my things, but I realize something. "Alice knew I would leave, didn't she? That's why you already have the tickets."
"Potentially, but why should that matter?"
I shake my head. Deceitful, yet beautifully meticulous.