My name is Bella Swan. I'm eighteen years old. I live in Forks, Washington, the rainiest place in the continental U.S. My only friends are immortal, and I'm stuck between choosing immortality or a destiny of death.
(This is my version of Breaking Da...
Jake's birthday was nice. We celebrated exactly how he wanted, which means he got to spend the entire day with me. He did say he wanted no presents though, so I suppose it was almost exactly how he wanted. I bought him lunch at the diner, and got him a dream catcher that looks like the one he got me. Jake would be upset if I spent much more than that. Since then things have been sort of calm. The wolves have still been patrolling the areas around Forks, in case any vampires come through. Jacob said it seems like any vampires that come nearby will only get close enough to pick up the wolves' scent, then they'll go the opposite direction. Most vampires have heard legends of werewolves, but it is unlikely that they have encountered any. I think the fear of werewolves existing is enough to keep most vampires away. I continue to pester Jake about if he knows who the vampires are that he encounters, but it's never anyone the pack knows. No sign of the Cullens. I'm sure Alice is watching me through her visions, or what she can see when I am away from Jacob and the rest of the pack's protective shield, and if Edward is with his family he is undoubtedly watching me through Alice's mind. It's unfair- they can see me, but there's no trace left of them. The thought of Edward is now like a numb, distant pain to me. It aches to think about him, but it is also almost like he never existed. The sound of his voice is fading away, and the cold touch of his skin. Other than the memories, all I have left of him is the ring he used when he asked me to marry him, his mother's ring. I'm clueless about what to do with it, it's not something you can just throw in the river or bury in the dirt (as if I would want to or could bring myself to do that). It also feels wrong to keep it, because it is not mine to keep. I want to give it back to Edward, I just don't know how. Is Jake lying about the Cullens visiting? Do they still check in to make sure I haven't gotten myself killed? If I leave the ring at their old house would they be able to get it from there? Is it even the ring I care about? I sigh and slump down onto the floor after having been pacing back and forth looking at the ring on my dresser. I haven't picked it up in months, it sits in the box it came in, propped open to remind me what I've done, better yet what I've lost. I know it's not good to sit here and worry, but worrying is one of the only things I can seem to do lately. I worry about the Cullens because I have no way of knowing if they are okay, I worry about Jacob because he is so madly in love with me that he is hurting himself relentlessly, and I worry that if I don't stop worrying that I am going to become a reckless maniac again. The memories of Edward all seem so faint now. I remember them, but they seem so distant and not real. It is almost like they are all black and white. I don't want to forget them, because they will be all I have if I manage to give the ring back to Edward. I don't see visions of him anymore like the last time he left. He's not going to come back. The memories are all I have. The faint, black and white memories.
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I stand up, trying to shake the thought of him from my head. If I allow myself to indulge in the thought of him for too long it spirals me deep down into a depression, which seems impossible to get out of. I grab my phone, dialing in Jake's number. "Bella!" He says, answering after only one ring. I try to say something, but my mouth just hangs ajar. Calling him was an impulse move to console me, and it was selfish. "Bella?" He says again, a hint of concern in his voice. "Um, sorry Jake, I've got to go," I say quickly, then hang up before he has a chance to respond. I let out a sigh. I can do this on my own. I don't need to unload my problems onto Jake, that is not fair. This is my own problem to deal with. I struggle to get up from the floor, trying to not put any weight on my broken leg. The doctor said it will probably take eight weeks to heal, and I'm lucky that it wasn't any worse. I grab my crutches and slowly make it downstairs. "Bells?" Charlie looks at me, setting his beer and a newspaper down. "Where are you going?" I stop, trying to think. Where am I going? "I'm going to see Jake." Definitely not true, but he probably will find a way to see me anyhow. "And you're getting there how?" I can't drive with a broken foot. "Caught me," I say jokingly, letting out a fake laugh. Charlie chuckles. "As chief of police, I'm not entirely sure if I can let you drive like that, but as your father I know I can't let you drive like that." I give Charlie a quiet nod, hoping he gets the hint that I'm not up for conversation. I ever-so-slowly make it back up the stairs, silently cursing whoever decided to make this a two-story house. I sigh. If I don't call Jake, I know I will end up sitting here with these ruminating thoughts that spiral me into that depression. I slump onto my bed and dial his number again. This time it just rings. Of course, I missed my opportunity. "Bells," my dad knocks, then walks into my room. "Jake's here." I furrow my brow. Jake comes up the stairs, walking straight into my room. He embraces me into a bear-hug, lifting me off of my bed, feet off the ground. I wrap my arms around him, confused as to why he's here. "Well, I guess I'll just... leave you two alone." Charlie walks out, leaving the door open. "What the Hell was that call about Bella? You scared me," Jake says seriously, hugging me tighter. "What was what about?" "The calling me, then quickly hanging up. Bella, you can't do stuff like that." I try to say something, but nothing comes out. "Bella, I know you better than anyone. You sounded upset. Talk to me, please." "Okay, I was upset. I was overthinking, but can you leave it alone now? Please, for my sanity's sake?" I step back, attempting not to put any weight on my hurt leg. Jake holds me steady. I watch his chest rise and fall fast. His eyes look wild, his hair tousled. He's in a panic mode. "Jake, I promise I'm okay. You have nothing to worry about." He hugs me again, mostly picking up my weight. His warmth is pleasant and welcoming. "You can't do things like this to me, Bella. I wasn't sure if you were okay." "You could have called." He looks into my eyes. "What if I didn't get to you in time? You remember how you were last time he..." he trails off. "I don't want you to do anything reckless." I stiffen when Jake says he, referring to Edward when he left last time. "Jake, I'm not going to be reckless again. It was... stupid, and dumb, and naive of me. You don't need to worry." "I want to believe you, but I also want to protect you. It's tearing me apart how much I worry about you when I'm not with you, Bella." The look of anguish on his face pains me. "Jake, I don't know what to do. I can't be with you every second, it would upset Charlie to never see me." "Then I can come here more, Bella. But you're an adult, you're nineteen. You're allowed to leave the house, you don't need Charlie's permission." "No, I just need yours," I sigh. "Also Jake, I live under his roof. The least I can do is go by his rules." Jake sits on my bed, staring at the wall, as though he is deep in thought. "Move in with me." "Huh?" He looks up at me, then stands and sets his hands on my shoulders. "Live with me." "In the tiny house that your dad owns, that barely fits you and him?" "My dad owns a nice two story house, but he can't use it because of the wheelchair. He has wanted me to move in there for a while, but I didn't want to live by myself. Bella, please, move in there with me." I look blankly at him, lost for words.
