Breaking Dawn

Chapter 19: Monday, August 21st

My heart feels like it is going to burst out of my chest, and I can't slow my breathing. I have two choices: to stay low and hope this animal doesn't see me, or to run.
I choose the second option, jumping up and sprinting as fast as I can. I try to watch in front of me, and also watch my feet to make sure I don't trip.
I hold back a scream for help. I know it would be pointless this far into the woods, and could possibly attract more animals.
My feet catch on a root and I land on my stomach hard. The wind is knocked out of me, and I gasp for a breath. I try to pull my foot loose, but the root has my shoe stuck in it. I slide my foot out of the shoe, getting up as quickly as I can. I start running again.
I hear a strange noise, almost indescribable. I stop myself from looking back, knowing it will only slow me down.
"Bella!" I hear some call, but it's hard to tell who it is by all the twigs snapping under my feet.
I turn my head back, but my feet keep going. Who could it be?
I stop abruptly, crashing into something large and rock solid. But it catches me, or he does.
"Bella, why are you running?" Jake asks as I look up at him.
I gasp, trying to catch my breath.
It clicks in my head. That big, scary animal was Jake, as a wolf. How didn't I realize this before?
"I don't know," I try to stop hyperventilating. "I guess I've just been pretty on edge lately."
"Bella, what's wrong?" He asks.
I look at the ground, still breathing heavily. He knows there's more to it than me just being on edge. I can't lie anymore, I need to tell him. "Edward is gone."
It stays quiet. I know he's processing this idea. I can only imagine what he's thinking. It could be that he has a much greater chance of being with me now, or it could be that he is happy that the Cullen's are gone.
"I'm sorry Bella," he pulls me up to stand and wraps his arms around me.
I hesitate, this is not the reaction I had expected from him. I wrap my arms around him, the heat radiating off of him and warming me up quickly.
"Why don't we go back to your house?" He suggests.
I nod. I try to step back, but my legs begin to collapse under me.
"Woah, easy Bella," Jake says, steadying me.
He goes to pull his hands away and my legs begin to wobble again. I grab onto his arms, unable to hold myself up. "I'm sorry," I mumble.
"Do you need me to carry you?" He asks. He doesn't seem like he means it in a sensual way, though. He seems to mean it in a worrisome manner.
I try to stand up on my own once more, but my legs fail again. I sigh, giving in.
He picks me up effortlessly.
There's a short silence as Jake begins walking, but my mind won't stop playing different questions.
"How did you know where I was?" I ask.
"I was doing a perimeter check of the area, and I caught your scent."
I pause for a short second. "How do you know where to go?"
"I've been through these woods a thousand times, I know them like the back of my hand."
"Why did you keep coming after me as a wolf?"
"I wasn't sure why you were running, so I stayed as a wolf to make sure you were safe and that there weren't any bloodsuckers around."
I sigh. I hate when Jake uses the term bloodsucker, but I have at least gotten him to try to not use it when referring to the Cullen's.
I lay my head on his chest, listening to his thudding heart. I wonder if all of the wolves have as fast and loud of a heartbeat as him, or if it is just a Jake thing.
The sound of leaves crunching under his feet give me a strange sense of comfort, as well as the heat Jacob puts off. Washington isn't a particularly warm state, sometimes even during the month of August. That's one thing I miss about living with my mother, is the heat. Of course, I miss a lot more than just the heat, though.
I wonder how Jake would do in Jacksonville. Would he overheat? Or would he feel the same as he does here?
Edward never got too hot or too cold. He could feel the warmth from me, but it probably wasn't comparable to the cool touch of his skin.
"What are you thinking about?" Jake asks.
I smile faintly. "Nothing."
"You looked pretty deep in thought," he states.
"It's nothing, I don't want to talk about it," I assure him. I know it hurts him when I talk about Edward, so I try to stay off the subject as much as I can.
"Bella, you can tell me anything. I won't tell anyone."
"Intentionally you won't tell anyone," I say.
"Huh?" He questions.
"Remember your wolf telepathy thing?"
"Oh... I forgot about that."
"See all, hear all," I say.
He stays quiet. I can only imagine how hard it is for Jake to attempt to keep secrets. The pack has linked minds when in wolf form, or as Edward says, a chatroom.
I sigh at the thought of Edward crosses my mind again. Everything I do reminds me of him. If I see a flower, it reminds me of when Edward would pick a daisy and put it behind my ear. Or when I try to cook, it reminds me of how Edward would have to remind me what to add or what temperature to cook it at.
There's no escape from him, he's stuck in my head and he won't leave.
"You're doing it again."
"What?" I say quickly. Jake startled me by snapping me out of my thoughts. "Oh, right. Sorry."
"Why do you apologize so much?" He asks. We break out of the woods, onto my green lawn.
"I think I can walk now," I say. My head isn't spinning like it was before, so hopefully, I'm okay.
We reach the door and Jake opens it for me. "Thanks," I say quietly.
"You didn't answer my question," he reminds me.
"I know, I was trying to avoid it. I don't really know why I'm always apologizing, I wish I knew why." I grab a cup of water and offer one to Jake (which he happily accepts).
"Well," he chugs a bit of the water, "you have no reason to be sorry. I don't know if Edward always made you feel like you did something wrong-"
"Edward didn't make me feel that way!" I interrupt angrily. "Edward's the nicest being to walk this planet."
Jake puts his head down. "I see how you feel."
I sigh. Don't make this about you, Jake, I think to myself. "I'm sorry for yelling and hurting your feelings, but you can't say stuff like that."
"Maybe I should go," I see the pain in his eyes. "All I do is upset you."
"Please stay Jake," I say, "and you know that's not true."
"Why? I can't stand to see you upset, and know that it's me who's upsetting you."
"Because I can't stay here by myself tonight," I admit. "The nightmares are..." I start to trail off.
"Okay," he says, somewhat cutting me off. I'm thankful he did because I didn't want to finish that statement.
I take a look at the clock. It's already 10 at night.
"Charlie must already be in bed," I say. "I'm surprised he wasn't worried about me."
"He must've assumed you were with either me or... him."
I nod in agreement, and silently thank Jake for not saying his name.
"So, I think I need to go to bed, where am I staying?" Jake asks, yawning.
"In my room, please," I say. I'll feel more comfortable with him near me. "I can sleep on the floor."
We start making our way upstairs, tiptoeing so we don't wake Charlie.
"I'll sleep on the floor, Bella. You can sleep in your bed."
I decide to just go with it, it isn't worth fighting him against it because there's no doubt I would lose.
I shut the door behind us so Charlie doesn't see Jake in the morning.
I give Jake some of the extra blankets on my bed and a couple pillows. He thanks me, and we both lay down. I shut off the light, and the room is very dimly lit from the street lights shining through the window.
It doesn't take long for Jake's quiet snoring to start. I shut my eyes, hoping to get some sleep.
But no sleep comes.