Breaking Dawn

Chapter 17: Sunday, August 20th

I step out of my truck and look around. I don't see Jake. I don't see anyone for that matter. I was hoping that by showing up to his house I could see him.
"Hey, Bella, nice to see you around here," Billy smiles, struggling to open the door.
"Hey, nice to see you too," I smile back, helping him.
"I am going to assume you're here for Jacob, and not me," he jokes.
I let out a small laugh. "That's correct, do you know where he is?"
"He's actually right in his room, you can go right in if you'd like. I should've woke him up before now, but I thought he could use the rest."
I thank Billy and walk into Jake's miniature bedroom, closing the door gently behind me. Jacob doesn't even stop snoring.
I sit on the bed beside him, watching his chest rise and fall. Just sitting near him warmed me up some.
"Jake," I say quietly. I nudge his shoulder.
His eyes part slightly, then close again and he grabs my hand softly. "Good morning sunshine."
"We have plans soon, you have to get up."
"Or we could lay in bed all day," he mumbles.
"Jake, I have to go grocery shopping. You don't have to go." Charlie has been very busy with work for the past month and hasn't been able to do much, and he's not much of a shopper anyhow so I'm left to go grocery shopping with his money this week.
"No, I'll go," he looks at me with tiresome eyes. "But we can lay in bed for a little while."
He tries to pull me down into his bed, but I pull myself back, standing up and dropping his hand. "Come on Jake."
"Fine, fine," he rubs his eyes, slowly sitting up.
He finally gets out of bed, his hair a mess and only wearing shorts. He gives me a hug immediately, and I almost wish he wouldn't have let go because the heat from his body warmed me while he was holding me.
"Get in the shower, I'll wait in here," I tell him. Normally I would wait outside, but Jake and I have gotten much closer lately and I feel plenty comfortable sitting in his room while he showers.
When he leaves the room, I allow myself to look around his room. Nothing is of too much interest. There's a pile of clothes in the corner, his bed is a mess, and he has shoes strung about. I decide to make his bed and organize his shoes. I begin to fold the clothes when I hear the door open, and to no surprise it's Jake.
"Jake, put some clothes on!" I say, turning my head away. He's not completely nude, but all he has is a towel lowly around his waist.
"Well that's why I'm in my room, to get clothes," he chuckles.
I feel my cheeks get red, and I usher myself out of his room. Billy doesn't seem to be here anymore, which is odd because he doesn't leave the house that much with being in a wheelchair and all.
I sit on the couch and sigh. I can't help but feel the guilt sink in because I'm at Jacob's house instead of Edward's. I should've invited Edward to assist me with my groceries, but instead, I asked Jake. I went over to Edward's house last night though, which gives my mind some ease.
Jake walks out in only a tee shirt and shorts as if he's oblivious to the fact that it is merely 50 degrees Fahrenheit.
"Ready?" He asks, running his hand through his hair.
"Yeah," I sigh. "Let's go."
We get into the truck, Jake driving. We stay quiet for a while, me because of my inevitable guilt, but I wish I knew the reason for Jake's seclusion.
"Why do you seem so distraught?" Jake asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"What?" I think it through. "Um, I just didn't sleep very well."
"Well, I doubt that's the reason. You get big bags under your eyes when you can't sleep."
I feel a humble comfort come over me. Jake notices the little things, like how I look when I'm tired. "It's nothing."
"Bella, you can tell me. I won't get mad."
I sigh again. "It's just that I feel... guilty, for being with you instead of Edward."
I watch his expression change. "Why do you feel guilty?"
"Because, well... I'm engaged to him, and I picked to go out with you grocery shopping instead of him."
"Are you not allowed to go out with friends?"
"Jake, you and I both know how you feel about me, it's not just friendly."
"Yeah, I have a lot of feelings for you, but I'm not going to act any way you don't want me to, I won't kiss you until you say it's okay."
"Thanks," is all I can think to say. Even though he is desperately in love with me, he has the decency to respect my wishes.
We arrive at the grocery store, and Jake looks clueless as to where to go. I have him follow me around, hoping he will figure it out.
"Do you know where I would find canned corn?" I ask him.
He just looks at me.
"Never mind," I say. I feel as though he has never gone grocery shopping in his life.
We finish up, and I insist I drive back so I can drive slow, so the groceries don't fly out of my truck bed, but Jake is determined to be the one to drive.
"Charlie isn't here," I point out as we pull into my driveway. It's a Monday, he's going to be busy at work.
I go to grab a grocery bag, but Jake grabs all of them effortlessly. He grins at me, trying to show off his superior strength.
"You know, I don't mind helping," I tell him.
"I got it, don't worry."
I open the door for him, it's the least I can do. He sets all the groceries on the floor around the table. I grab a bag and start putting it away, and he tries to follow in pursuit but is yet again clueless.
"Jake, at least let me put them away," I insist.
"I'll let you do that because I have no clue where everything goes."
He sits at the small table but continues to watch me.
"You can watch TV," I tell him.
"I'd rather watch you," he says calmly.
I decide not to fight against him, knowing he would win an argument anyhow.
I put away everything, except the stuff to make spaghetti and meatballs. I bought extra spaghetti and meat because Jake eats a lot.
"Ouch!" I say when a bit of boiling water splashes on me. Jacob is by my side immediately.
"Are you okay?" He grabs my hand to examine it, then quickly turns on the cold water and puts my hand under it.
"I'm fine, just a little splash." I try to pull my hand out from the water, but Jake puts in back in.
"Just let it sit under the water," he insists.
I do as he says. "Will you take the spaghetti off the heat? I think it's done."
"Of course," he does so, turning the stove off as well. "Do you want me to take the sauce off the heat too?"
I nod.
I take my hand out from under the water to examine it. There's a red spot a little bigger than a quarter. "It's fine, there's no mark," I tell Jacob. I'd rather lie to him about it than have him worry.
"Are you sure? Let me see," he reaches for my hand.
"No, it's fine, I need to finish cooking," I say quickly. I pour the sauce and meatballs into the drained spaghetti, then set it aside so it can cool down.
"Bella," Jake says, "are you sure your hand is okay?"
"I'm sure Jake," I tell him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he says, reaching in to give me a hug. I wrap my arms around him loosely, as to not make it seem like an affectionate hug.
"Remember when we were up in your room a few days ago?" Jake asks.
"Yeah, why?"
"Do you remember saying you love me?"
I pause. I forgot I had told him that. "Uh, yeah."
"Did you mean it?" He looks intently into my eyes.
What am I supposed to say? I can't give him bad intentions by saying I meant it, but I can't lie and say I don't love him.
"Yes," I sigh. "Yes Jake, I do love you."
"Do you love me as a friend or more?"
I look down. This isn't fair, I can't tell him either answer without hurting someone. I guess honesty is the only way I have to go.
"More than a friend."
He picks my chin up with his finger, flicking his eyes from my lips to meet my gaze. I know what he's doing, he wants to kiss me but promised me he wouldn't kiss me without my permission.
So I kiss him.