Lost In His Eyes - Jakob Delgado

Chapter 27 - 'Her'

CARA'S POV:

I then covered my mouth after letting the words slip. I knew he was only trying to comfort me but my built up anger was getting the better of me.

"Do you really mean that?", he let out as a whisper.

"Yes", I said as I looked away trying not to break down.

"Ok then, Look into my eyes and say it. Say you don't want me here, say you don't need me", he paused as he lifted my chin up so my eyes were now on him. "and lastly tell me you don't love me."

I sat in silence, my face wet from my tears, my head spinning with a million thoughts.

"C'mon tell me, Tell me you don't"

"Jakob stop", I mumbled under my breath.

"Not until you say you don't"

I let my eyes wonder down from his to my hands, my mouth becoming dry and tears slowly falling from my eyes.

"All you have to say is you don't"

"Its not that simple Jakob.", I snapped back, now bringing my hands to my face.

"But it is. You either love me or you don't"

"Jakob please can we not talk about this now, I need you to be here with me as a friend . I need someone who I can talk to, not just about our relationship. You don't know how hard all of this is for me and my head is pounding with thoughts and I miss mum like crazy", at this point tears were flooding out of me and I couldn't control it one bit. "I need her Jakob, I need..."

Jakob cut me off and grabbed my hand, pulling me in close to him.
"I know you do... I'm sorry, this is all really hard for me too but we have each other at least and you know you can talk to me about anything and everything", his soft hands brushed against my skin as he spoke, sending shivers down my spine.

"But Jakob how can I trust you?"

"You know you can trust me Cara, C'mon"

"I'm not so sure anymore", I said as I laid my head on the soft white pillow.

Jakob sighed and got up, "Well I guess I should leave you then"

"No, I don't want you to leave", I quickly sat up grabbing hold of his hand. "Don't take this the wrong way or feel like I have forgiven you because I haven't. I also know that I may be totally confusing sometimes especially how I just snapped and you now I'm asking you to do this but can you just lay with me until I fall asleep. I don't think I will be able to sleep otherwise..."

I could feel my cheeks heat up from embarrassment but I knew it was the only way I would be getting any sleep. 
His face was completely blank as he began to walk out of the room, ignoring everything I had just said.

"Jakob", I called as he continued to walk out of the room not even flinching when I called his name. "Jakob please come back."

"Why should I?", he said as he turned around to face me.

"Because Jakob, I need you Ok. I admit it, I need you more than anything. Please."

His face was hard to read although his actions were the things that were telling what he was thinking.
He stayed still for a while making me nervous as I wasn't sure what his next move was going to be.
I let my head droop down as I guessed Jakob would just leave although I was surprised when he began to walk slowly back over to the bed, pulling the sheets out from the mattress before laying down next to me.
I decided to not say anything as I didn't want him to change his mind, and I didn't want to change mine either.

I pulled the thin white bed sheets over me although I was still cold. I could feel my legs shiver as I laid my head down once again, facing the opposite way to Jakob.
I pulled my legs up into my chest to try and contain heat but I just felt as if I was just getting colder and colder.

"Here", Jakob said as he wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me into him. "You will be warmer this way."

"But Jakob..", I started but he cut me off.
"Cara you won't be getting any sleep if your freezing cold.", he was now brushing my hair away from my eyes as I had turned to face him.
"also don't worry I'm not taking all this the wrong way."

My heart began to beat faster as my head fell onto his warm chest, this instantly warming my whole body up. I am glad he knows this isn't me forgiving him but I can't help but feel maybe I should seeing that I don't have any evidence he really did cheat.

I decided to push my thoughts to the side and focus on sleeping as I hadn't been getting much of it lately.
In some way I felt relieved and calmed as I knew Jakob was with me and no one else at this point in time.
The past couple nights as I laid awake worrying about my mum, I was also worried about who Jakob was with and what he was doing, but tonight I knew the answer. He was with me and only me although, I still had voices in the back of my head telling me that maybe he doesn't want to be and he would rather be with somebody else, somebody else being Grace.
I really wish I could just get her out of my head but for some reason It seems impossible. Her voice and the way she looks at Jakob. My eyes make their way onto Jakob, his face so soft and delicate. I want to reach out and smash my lips on his but I think that would be all too confusing for one night, not just for me but also for Jakob. Besides I don't even think I am thinking straight at this point in time as I have been constantly changing my mind about things. One minute I don't want anything to do with Jakob now I want him more than ever.
In the end though just knowing he is here with me is enough as I lay taking in his warmth and the fact that his was me and not her.

A/N AHHH Cara is sooo confusing haha !!
hope your all enjoying this, if you are make sure to tell me what u think :)
I have a few ideas for up coming chapter so get ready for that bc they are gonna get a little juicy haha x
Anyways hope you all have an amazing weekend !!
Love you all oxox