Unbroken: Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter Eighteen

Harry’s POV:

My hands were shaking and my bottom lip quivered with every breath I took. Tears fell down my cheeks and crashed to the wooden floor I stood on. I walked towards the dresser to hold onto something as I looked at my reflection that stared right back at me. My eyes were irritated and red; a part of it was an effect of the clubs atmosphere, but mostly because of what happened moments before. I took a deep breath and stepped back from where I stood. I felt the need to punch my reflection, but I couldn’t because this wasn’t my home and if I did, it would only raise more questions, from my parents, from my friends but mostly Carter, even if she knew why.

I glanced at the bottom of the door and saw a shadow move back and forth, slowly and carefully, thinking. I could tell it was Carter. She was thinking just like I was. Probably wondering where the hell do we go from here? Why the hell did I give him a chance? And what the hell did I even see in him? I shook my head trying to get those negative thoughts out of my mind. I needed to explain to her what I said was a mistake. As I got up from the floor and started to walk towards the door, I saw her shadow starting to disappear. The hallway light shut off and I heard a door slam shut. I could tell she was pissed and hurt. Mostly hurt. And it was because of me.

I took a deep breath and tried to remember what happened, even when I didn’t want to. My fingers ran through my wet hair in aggravation as I sat down on the wooden floor beneath me at the edge of the bed. Why did I say yes? Damn it! Why did I have to tell her to give Noah a chance!

A part of me knew why, because I didn’t want to hurt her ever again. I didn’t want to say yes, but I had to. I wanted to cry and scream in pain, telling her what I dumbarse mistake I made, but I couldn’t because I knew I was out of chances. She had given me one too many, even when she shouldn’t have. My first chance was at the pier when I made that remark on her legs, how they could go on for days. Now I knew why I had upset her. That comment was without a doubt related to that arse. Now that I look back on that day, I knew he said that to her. I remember her eyes were filled with fear and anger. I clenched my fists in fury as my fingernails started to dig into my skin. I was trying to get my mind off of that bastard touching her. The more my nails broke the surface of my skin, the more I grew in rage. 

I didn’t want to remind her of that arse. I didn’t want to be that arse.

The second time she had given me a chance was when I had her pressed up against the wall at school. My hands clenched her tiny wrists in anger because she was about to call me something I never wanted to hear. Especially from her.  The imprints I left on her wrists made me want to ram my fists in a solid cemented wall, which I did. I harmed those I care about when I am angry. And I care about Carter more than I care about anyone. To think that I caused her pain and suffering. To think that I am the guy everyone warned her about. Now I knew why her aunt and uncle told her to stay away from me. Because I am similar to that guy she escaped Maine from. But was I worse than him? I mean, I’ve hurt her multiple times.

My lip started to shake as an effect of the tears that started to fall, hot and full of regret. I shot out from where I was sitting and punched the soft comforter numerous times. Even though I couldn’t physically feel the impact of the hits, I could feel it emotionally. Every hit was a hit to myself. I am not Trevor. I would never hurt her like he had. I will never put my hands on her like he did. I had to stop myself from giving her grief. I knew the reason why I had to let her go, why I told her to give Noah a chance. It was because I don’t want to hurt her. No matter how much I didn’t want to let her go. I, of all people, know the type of person I am. Why I do what I do. That’s even more reason why she should run away from me, because of my past. My past with women.