Should I jump, or not?
Ray ran to me: " If you jump ", she got to stand next to me on the edge, " I'll jump too "
I looked at her.
" I'm sorry, Ray "
" Don't "
I got of the edge and took a deep breath. Ray threw her arms around me and we just hugged. For a long while.
Exactly what I needed.
" Don't ever do that to me again "
" I won't "
" You know, to be honest, I miss the old you, you were so positive, you lived your life, you loved everything. Now you're just the opposite and that's not who you are "
She made me think.
" I don't know what I have to say "
" You were used to help others, you were always happy, if something went wrong, you knew it would be better soon and you focused on the good side of everything, now you don't "
I didn't say a thing and Ray continued: " I miss you "
She misses me.
" I - I - " I couldn't bring out any words.
" Would you please bring the real Clara back instead of that monster who took over her body "
" I don't know how "
" Start with making things right. Go to Ally, talk to her, go to Vince, talk to him, go to your teammates, talk to them! "
" What if they don't - " she interrupted me: " LOOK, you immediately look at the bad side "
" Sorry "
" Do it for me and for yourself "
" For you "
She was right. I had to change my life. But how. I knew that wouldn't be easy, but I was going to try.
I needed to find me back. The positivity. The fun. The happiness. The brave. Everything had to be found back. I needed to make a lot of things right. Including my life.
I would start immediately when I would wake up next morning.
It was the last day of our exam period and I had hardly studied for Dutch. But I had told myself that I could do it! Ray had been encouraging me too.
With a good feeling I went to school. But I hadn't forgotten a thing of what happened yesterday.
I just kept in mind that after today the holidays would start and we would go to Rhodes again. There I would make up my mind and when I will come back, I will make things right. For sure.
Ray promised she would help me.
***
