Exquisite Pain (Garmau)

Chapter 25 Distance

I stopped fighting my inner demons, we're on the same side now.
~Unknown
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I woke up to the sound of Aphmau talking.

"Yeah, so I think that we should turn around, because I flew ahead earlier and if we continue going that way, we'll run into a military camp."

I stepped outside the tent and stretched my arms.

Everyone agreed reluctantly.

We packed up our things and started heading east. So we basically took a right and now we're just heading that way.

Aphmau was acting strange. First of all, she was walking instead of flying. And she kept her grim gaze towards the ground. I walked up to her and made sure nobody was listening.

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing."

"Oh come on, that's a load of bull."

"Really, I'm fine."

"Aphmau..."

"It's nothing you need to worry about, just lady problems."

"Nice try, lady problems don't make me uncomfortable and run away like other guys."

"Well you should run away before I smack you into oblivion."

I rolled my eyes and stepped away, walking with Zoey.

Aphmau and I hadn't addressed the whole confession thing yet, and at this point, I wasn't sure if we ever would. It would just be something swept under the rug. We knew it was there, but both refused to acknowledge it. And it's not like I don't want to, in fact, I would love to talk about feelings. Maybe then I could finally grasp my own emotions and understand what the heck I was doing with my life. But doing that, felt like cheating on Zoey, which I partially did. Aphmau and I kissed, and now we won't talk about it.

My feelings towards Zoey, that's a whole different situation. I love her, but not in the way two soulmates love each other. I love her in the way that I don't want her hurt, and I care about her happiness. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life by her side, if that makes sense. In other words, I only see Zoey as a friend. And there was a point where I definitely saw her as more, and maybe it was love. But maybe it wasn't true love.

I had to sit down and talk with Zoey about us. About the kiss. About how I don't think it'll work between us.

After what felt like forever, we stopped in our new semi-permanent home. Everyone started setting up huts, and work stations. I felt a rock hit me in the back of my head. I held my head and turned to see Aphmau.

"Training. Come." She ordered. I nodded and we went deep into the forest. We walked into a small opening. Trees surrounding us. She sat down cross-legged, perfect posture. I mirrored her and waited for more instruction. We were making eye contact for a minute before she rose a brow.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to tell me what to do?"

"Do you always need someone to hold your hand through something?" She patronised.

"You're my teacher. You're supposed to instruct me."

"Teacher's are only teachers. They teach. I do not tell you what to do, I do not control anything but what you learn and how you do it. Now what are you going to do?"

"What are you going to teach me?"

"What do you want to learn?"

"How to control water."

"Please, you can't control water yet"

"What makes you say that?"

"You can barely control the other three, now is not the time to be learning about a new element."

"What's wrong with you today?!" I stood up, now angry.

"We aren't here to discuss me, we are here to have you learn how to control your magic," she stood too, looking ready to kill me.

"Is this about your confession?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know we were addressing it!"

"What's wrong?!"

"Nothing! I'm fine!"

I suddenly wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight. I held her head to my chest and kept my face hidden in the crook of her neck.

"I know you're not..." I whispered. She relaxed at my touch, letting out a small breath.

"Sometimes, people would ask if I was alright, and I would always tell them I was okay, but deep down I wanted them to hug me tight and and tell me they know I'm not."

I remembered our date, I remembered what she had told me. I felt drops of water hit the top of my head, and they began slow. Then they gradually fell faster until rain poured down around us.

I let go, pulling back but only far enough so that I could hold her shoulders.

"Tell me."

"I can't," she whispered. I sighed and let go of her shoulders.

"I think training is done for the day."

She nodded and walked off in the opposite direction. She was probably going to clear her head, so I wasn't all too concerned. I walked back to our camp, and went inside my hut. Inside, Zoey was sitting at the tiny table, looking out the window.

"You love her."

"Zoey..."

"Don't try and hide it, Garroth. The look you give her is the same one you used to give me..."

"I do."

"We had a good run," she laughed, as if everything was ironic, "but I guess it wasn't good enough," she slipped the engagement ring off her finger and got up, walking over to me. She folded the ring in my hand and pecked my lips.

"I'm sorry."

"No you aren't," she shook her head, pushing past me before I could stop her.

I watched out the window as the night dragged out, I was too upset to sleep. Zoey thought I wasn't sorry, and it was killing me inside. As I looked out, I saw Aphmau walk into her hut. But she walked right back out about two minutes later, a bag in hand. She looked around to see if anyone was watching, and then disappeared in the trees.

Curious, I got up to follow her.

A/N I just thought of an amazing plot twist, sometimes I love writing at one in the morning. I love you all devils, byeeeeeee.