Falling | zaylor ✓

I'm Sorry You Thought That This Couldn't Work

When Zac finished his shower, he returned to his room. Taylor was under the covers of the bed, fast asleep. The energy that filled his body earlier had worn off. Zac was quite tired as well, considering he'd been woken up at early hours of the day by the dude who just fucked him and caused the exhaustion he was already experiencing to increase tenfold.

But he didn't feel like sleeping. Maybe that was because Taylor was currently fast asleep in bed and he didn't want to disturb him. Or maybe because Taylor was in his bed, and even though they just did what they did, part of him still felt as though sleeping in the same bed as him was a little bit weird.

God knows how weird it was when they even shared a bed on nights where their hotels didn't have enough rooms for all of them to have their own individual beds. Even though it wasn't a big deal and had to have been more awkward for Hayley, who was forced to share a bed with Jeremy who was snoring all night, Taylor acted extremely awkward that night. Looking back on it now, it seemed to make sense as to why he was as distant as he was for only that night.

Even though he was a twenty-five year old man who liked to think he was more mature than most people his age, considering he had a job and was forced to mature earlier than his peers considering he essentially missed out on his adolescence, he was still immature and immediately felt the urge to talk to whoever was willing to listen and tell them every last detail of his hookups.

Okay, maybe not every detail.

Just like high school, when he kissed a girl for the first time and instantly told every single person he could.

But this was different.

He wasn't gay.

Right? Right. Yeah.

So who would he tell? That was the problem. He couldn't tell anyone.

—

Taylor woke up at two in the afternoon. Zac was busy trying to exercise and burn the calories he had ingested that morning when he had quite a large breakfast of just pancakes. He planned for the pancakes to be for the two of them, but when it reached noon and Taylor was still fast asleep (and was literally drooling all over the pillows) Zac decided to eat his share of the breakfast food.

Taylor entered the living room of Zac's rather small house, seeing his best friend laying on the floor with his eyes closed and shirt off. His shower was just about useless, considering he was now covered in sweat, his bare chest heaving since he had just completed the terrible exercise that is crunches.

"Zac's a big boy, now, huh?" Taylor teased, as if their age gap was much larger than half a year.

Zac's eyes shot open and he sat up again. He gave the other boy a smile.

"Don't wanna gain too much weight, you know. I was pretty chubby back in the early days of the band, I don't wanna be like that again," he responded and patted his belly. He wasn't even really heavy, but it's always difficult for people to see themselves as they really are.

"Really? I mean, you really think you needed to do this workout? Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's always good to stay in shape. But don't you think our little exercise was enough?" he brought up with a smirk. How fucking cheesy.

Zac was hoping their events from earlier in the morning wouldn't be discussed. But here he was, already feeling awkward. He pulled himself to his feet, pulled on a plain black t-shirt, and took a seat on the couch. Taylor took a seat beside him, having a fearful feeling that something was wrong.

"Look, T..." Zac started.

"What did I do? Was I bad? I'm sorry, I was just nervous. I mean, like, next time, right?"

"Whoa, slow down. Next time? Taylor, I'm not gay."

"Okay, maybe so. But buddy, there's no way you're straight."

"I'm straight."

That was a lie that anyone could see through. Taylor raised his eyebrows, smiling a little bit.

"You're straight?" he asked in an amused fashion.

"Yes," he stated. It was a blatant lie, but Zac was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. He felt as though he couldn't be gay. "I've liked girls before, there's no way I'm gay."

"Zac, babe. Bisexuality? It's a thing. Not just that, too. And if you're not straight, then there's nothing wrong with that."

"Don't fucking call me babe," he demanded, moving a little bit further away from Taylor.

"What? Are you scared of what people will think? Then you don't need to tell people. It's not anyone's business. And besides, you don't have anything to be scared of. People will accept you for who you are."

"Have you told people? Other than me?"

"Yeah, I've told Hayley."

"But not your family?" Zac questioned. Taylor shook his head slowly and looked down, refusing to meet Zac's gaze. "See, you're preaching this bullshit and saying I wouldn't have anything to be afraid of. But you haven't even told your family. And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, because whatever, you do you, I guess. But do you realize how my family would react if I were gay? I get that your family is religious, but have you met my family? Yeah, there's no way I'd be loved in that house. Josh, maybe. Maybe he'd be accepting. Just maybe. But my parents? No way."

"So you are gay? Or a little gay?" Taylor smiled. Zac was still not smiling.

"No...no. That was...that was hypothetical." Sure it was. "I'm not gay. I don't like you in that way. I love you, but not in that way. You're my friend, nothing more than that."

This was just like the first time they'd done anything sexual. Zac denying that he liked Taylor as anything more than just a friend, Taylor (rightfully so) being angered by that. He grumbled as he stood up, hands running through the mess that his curls were.

Zac sat still, blinking quickly.

Just before leaving, Taylor spoke, "I'm sorry you think this can't work, because I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my entire life than to prove that it could."

And then he stormed out, and slammed the door behind himself. His body shook, face falling into his hands.