Falling | zaylor ✓

Don't Catch Feelings

Luckily, it was about a half an hour before the planned time for the guests to head over to Zac's mother's house when the rain stopped and the clouds that darkened the daytime sky vanished, making for the pleasant sunshine to peak through the parting clouds and for a beautiful rainbow to spread across the sky. As if God was telling him that it was a good day to be gay.

Taylor was the first of the guests to show up, being there before he was even supposed to be. Even when Zac insisted that Taylor didn't have to show up any earlier than the others, he showed up early. How else was he to impress a potential boyfriend than help him and his parents set up for a birthday party?

"So, Zacky, how's it feel to be 26?" Taylor teased the birthday boy as the two of them stood on the front porch, Taylor's arm wrapped tightly around Zac's shoulders. Like he feared loosening his grip would mean Zac would slip away, and he wasn't interested in allowing that to happen again. Even if he wasn't ever able to call the drummer his, officially, he didn't want to lose his longtime best friend.

Zac looked cute, but what was new about that? Part of Taylor's conscience was reminding him don't catch feelings, don't catch feelings...don't catch feelings even though he was too far in at that point, the feelings had surely been caught long ago. But another part of his conscience was encouraging him with you still have a chance, you still have a chance. Needless to say, he was confused.

"The same as when I was 25," he chuckled, his eyes following the fast movement of a passing vehicle that drove down the street that Zac made so many memories on, many of said memories including the male just beside him. Seconds later came another vehicle, that one pulling into Mrs. Farro's driveway. The younger of the boys immediately recognized the vehicle, it being the car of one of his distant relatives that he never enjoyed talking to. He rolled his eyes, not at all eager over being forced to see relatives he'd only encounter on special occasions and when forced. If he was completely in control of who would be invited, the guest list would most likely be less than half as long as his parents had made it, considering they invited many distant family members that even they most likely didn't like.

From that moment until about an hour later, Zac was forced to greet several relatives that he rarely even saw. With that, came a lot of "I remember when you were this big" with hand gestures to show how small he once was, like all children are, or " I can't believe you're 26!" or Zac's personal favorite; when they would joke around by saying he was younger than he was in reality. Such as "Wow, how's it feel to be fifteen?" Hilarious.

All of the family and all of the friends that had arrived sat around a large table that had been brought outside, with Zac sitting at the head of the table. A triangular party hat partially covered his dark hair. His oldest brother even managed to calm his son and daughter down for just a little bit, as they all prepared themselves to eat the delicious food sitting before them.

Taylor sat to the right of Zac, Hayley being directly across from the guitarist. Beside Taylor sat Josh, who was just beside his wife. No Jeremy, though. Nobody wants Jeremy. All along the table, Zac's family could be seen. His siblings, parents, cousins, everyone his parents could think of inviting.

Once all of the food that had been prepared for their dinner (all of Zac's favorite foods, of course) was placed on the table, Josh leaned forward. "Speech, birthday boy!"

That got a chant going. Everyone pretty much demanded Zac give a speech. That was always something he wasn't big on. Talking. There was a reason he always sat behind a drumset while in Paramore, microphones far from him. He wasn't too good with any sort of talking. Nope.

Zac rose to his feet, cleared his throat, and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Uh, thank you guys for coming. It means a lot to me that you took time out of your days to be with me," he went to take his seat, but was stopped by Hayley.

"That wasn't a speech! We need more," she protested and took a sip from her bottle of water.

Okay, here was what he so badly had wanted to tell his friends and family, but had previously chickened out on doing. Holding it in would do no good, even though he sort of wanted to do just that. He would have to let it out eventually, just get it over with, he told himself.

"Okay, well...it really does mean a lot that all of you are here. I'm really bad with speeches, which I can imagine surprises all of you that had gone to Josh's wedding, where I was not so shy giving a speech as best man. But in my defense, I was prepared and I drank a lot of alcohol," he chuckled in the hopes of breaking the awkward tension. It did nothing but worsen the awkward atmosphere of the party.

"Josh, you're probably still my best friend, even though you still tease me like when we were kids. Or Taylor is. I don't know. You're both my favorite dudes. Mom and dad, you're great. Wow, look at me, sound like I'm giving a eulogy or something like that. Just...thank you to all of you that came here. All of my loved ones...that I hope will always love me for who I am."

Now, everyone could tell Zac was acting a bit peculiar. His final sentence, where he included that he hoped his friends and family would love him for who he is, they found to be what was a bit odd. But nobody said anything. Nobody needed to, because Zac explained quickly. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, and he began to breathe a little bit quicker, heart pounding in his chest.

"I hope you all love me even though I'm gay. I'm gay, and I love a dude. Maybe love is a strong word, I don't know yet. But I...I'm gay."