Never Say Never

Chapter 27 Part 1

Chapter 27

Part 1

　

Anita Baxter

　

“Im so sorry Ms Baxter but there is nothing left we can do” the Doctor said empathetically.

I just looked at him.

What the Hell iz dat posed to mean.?

What is nothing ?

Nothing… !

Well I kno wat something is !

Something is more chemo treatments, something is surgery something is…

“Ms Baxter I know this is hard for you right now” The doctor said interrupting my thoughts.

“But I think its time for you to establish a will” I just looked at him as if he had lost his muthafuckin mind. Im dying, Im dying Im dying . It really hadn’t hit me till just now. Im dying and Ive never been married, had no kids of my own.. Had no.. “Ms Baxter I know you are emotional right now” my doctor said handing me a couple of tissues to collect the tears that were rolling down my face. I snatched them and patted my cheeks. “But you do have two children in your custody, although one is nineteen a next of kin or…”

“I got my granbabies” I said interrupting him.

“They got a momma and daddy dats still alive” I finished.

The doctor just shook his head and patted my back. I turned and looked at him a little jealous. He was white with rich chestnut hair that was only slightly graying . He had perfect white teeth, a perfect white family and a golden lab named simon. Why couldn’t dat be me. I was born and raised in da streets and was runnin it till it spat me out. I have done it all pushed, stripped, slanged, even stole. But I gave it up I got saved now Im finna die. Dis is a bunch of bullshit. !

　

“How long do I have” I said turning and looking at him.

I thought about Netta who was still at my friends house. I pray to God that Xavier has mercy on dat poor girl. And Jasmine, I pray that Sean loves her I mean really loves her cuz her daddy is da spawn of satan.

“Any where from tomorrow….a week, no more than a month” he said sadly

“What do you mean” I sputtered “At my last appointment you said I had at least three months” I felt more tears roll down my face.

He shook his head solemnly .

“I know Ms. Baxter but the cancer has spread to your vital organs and..”

I didn’t hear nuthin else da doctor said after that.

All I kno iz im gonna die, alone.

　

On my way home I thought about my life, I thought about the life I coulda had and realized it was too late. I had pulled all the way into my driveway and had stopped da car wen I realized dat I didn’t even wanna be home. I didn’t want to hafta tell da girls that everything that they have come to know is a lie. That in truth I wasn’t their grandmother, they aint cousins but sisters, and That Im dying of cancer and will be no longer be able to care fo em. Instead of taking the cowards way out, I decided to go pick up Netta , and as soon as I came home I wuz gonna tell them da truth, even if it killed me.

　

　

Jasmine

When Sean asked me on a date all I could think of was Hell yes !

I was a little nervous at first I had never been on a date before. But I trusted Sean so I didn’t even question him when he picked me up, started driving, and said he couldn’t tell me where we going because it was a “Surprise” . I took my time preparing my look. I was a little insecure, I’ll admit it. I know that Sean has been with some gorgeous women. And I felt a little lacking. It was still hard for me to believe that he wants me, really wants me when I can offer him so little. I know nothing of “The Game” sellin drugs, or trappin. I know about being broke, living wit a crazy grama, and school. What would he want with that ? I flat ironed my shoulder length hair bone straight and parted it down the middle. I worked my make up tight like Tyra’s cashing in on all those hours I watched Americas Next Top Model. I accentuated my slanted eyes by linning them with a  black MAC pencil. I lined my lips with a cranberry liner and filled them with a cherry blossom gloss from Maybelline to give my lips the “Aaliyah” affect. I used Estee Lauders Sumptous mascara to give my lashes maxium volume. I wore a short tight red dress that I had previously bought from Body Shop. It fit me like a glove. It was see through and lacy it came about three inches above my knees and had a plunging neck line. I may not be drop dead gorgous but I had one thing… Huge breast. They even looked bigger on my petite frame. I wanted Sean to have a frickin heart attack when he saw me. I wanted to show him that I could be the grown woman, that chick who had it all. I didn’t know how old Sean is but if I could guess I would say early to middle twenties. Deep down I didn’t want him to leave me, cuz I aint givin it up. I aint gonna lie the last time... we came so close and I was scared. I have dreamed and fantasized about my first time but I have never imagined it to be .. soo..so overwhelming. I still cant belived I cried. But I was ready to put aside all of my feelings for Sean I just wanted to know and I wanted him to be the one to show me. So tonight I was prepared to give all of me to him no tears, no backing out like last time. I wanted Sean to make me a part of him and I wanted him to do it tonight. I turned and looked into the mirror and gasped at what I saw. For once in my life I felt beautiful and when Sean greeted me at the front door with a huge kiss I knew he approved. Yet through all this excitement, through all the butterflies swarming in my stomach, I felt like something bad was about to happen. I couldn’t shake it. I called Grandma numerous times to only get her voicemail. I wanted to finally tell her about Sean. I wanted her to meet him. It was highly unusual for her to be gone like this without telling me. I left a note saying I was going to chill with Tati for a couple hours. I promised myself this was the last time I was going to lie to her about Sean. Sean Carter is my boyfriend ! I screamed in delight , it sounded so good! Sean Carter is my Man ! Sean Carter is my lover. Lover… Well after tonight he will be. My first, My last and only