But, you're pretty fucking dope (camren)

p r o l o g u e

Finding yourself can be a very confusing, frustrating and difficult time in your life. Trying to figure out who you are, where you want to go in life, it's tricky. And the last thing you need is someone telling you what you can and can't do, shouting at you for doing and trying new things because you want to experience everything in life before truly finding yourself, knowing yourself. Sometimes you want something so badly, but you have no idea why you're exactly craving that 'something'. But you know that whatever it is, forbidden or not, you want it and you're going to get it.

That is basically Camila's life. It's confusing alright... She's ever so slowly finding herself, but leaving her options open as she goes.

In her old, previous school, Camila had found herself sexually attracted to boys. She had a boyfriend named Austin for 2 years of her life, before she eventually found out he was cheating. He cheated for over a year, behind Camila's back and now that she thinks back, she was pretty oblivious not to notice. All of the sneaking off, no explanations when she asked, showing up to places late and flustered and that one specific girl he always defended as 'just a friend.' What was her name again? Camila didn't even know... Or care for that matter.

When she found out about Austin's secret shenanigans, it had been Dinah, her best friend, that had informed her about it. She had explained to Camila how she saw Austin and some other brunette making out in a supply closet, that she confronted Austin about it, obviously. Austin tried to threaten Dinah, black mailing her not to tell Camila otherwise he would hurt the Polynesian. Only, it was Dinah who had hurt the dirty blonde boy, slapping him and telling him how much of a disgusting and pathetic excuse for a human being he was. Eventually, walking out of the supply closet and hitting the cheating boy over the head with a broomstick.

That night when Dinah had told Camila about Austin, the smaller girl broke down, let all of her emotions out, and they weren't all necessarily to do with Austin. At this point in her life, Camila was still finding her true self. Yes she liked Austin, and found him attractive but at the same time, she knew she could possibly, maybe in the future, have feelings for a women. Crazy right? She knew she was sexually attracted to men, or at least she thought. As she got a bit older she began appreciating women and found herself crushing on a few celebrities but still she didn't think she could possibly be bi...

The thought had crossed Camila's mind multiple times but she would always try and block it out. She would think thoughts about Austin but they wouldn't make her stomach erupt with butterflies anymore, not like they used too. She began to think she had lost feelings and trust for Austin a while ago, maybe that's why she had only cried for a few minutes when Dinah had told her, most likely crying out of shock. Or crying because she didn't know which path to take next. Lost.

The small brunette knew that she needed to tell her best friend about her thoughts, she needed opinions, she couldn't overthink things like these on her own again, she wanted to find herself.

So, Camila told Dinah. She told her everything. About Austin and her mixed attraction, thinking about girls and not ruling out the idea that she could be with one in the future... and about herself. She was confused, sad and somewhat lonely, until Dinah only hugged her, telling her not to worry, telling her she doesn't need to label herself, that love is love and when a person comes into her life, she'll know when she feels true love.

Camila had never been more appreciative to her best friend, until that moment.

A few months later, Camila found herself dreading school every single day and knew that this wasn't right to feel this way. She hated going to school. She hated seeing people laugh at her for being so oblivious to Austin's cheating. She hated seeing Austin everyday at school. She hated seeing him with that other girl, the girl that he cheated on her with for almost a year. She hated it all so she knew there was only one option left.

She needed to move schools. She needed to move schools and get a fresh start, a new year, a new her; maybe even the real her, if she knew what that was.

There was only one problem, Dinah. She couldn't leave Dinah and she hated the thought of leaving Dinah more than anything in the whole world. However, Camila had finally found some courage and informed her best friend about what she was thinking, spilling her thoughts once again. Instead of being completely taken back by the sudden statement, Dinah took it into consideration for a few moments.

Before Camila knew what was going on, Dinah was smiling. She said it would be a great idea for the two to move schools, that they could both move together at the end of the year and start fresh. She didn't like school anyway.

Camila knew that she had made the right decision and at that moment she was so excited for the future and what it held for her.

She could finally be herself at this new school, maybe even meet someone who she truly loved, who intrigued her and loved her for who she was. Someone who only had eyes for her...

In the process of moving schools, meet that someone who accepted her, helped, encouraged her to be herself.

Hopefully.

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What do you guys think? Should I continue or .. ? :)

((ps - 7/27 is fuckingggg littt, I love it omf))