Laxus's POV
I've come to realize that when you like someone, they become apart of your life like, bam, there they are. You can't go five seconds without thinking of them. You go to make toast and all of a sudden you wonder if that person you like eats it with nutella or peanut butter or whatever. When you put something on your snapchat story, your restless until they've seen it. What about your latest instagram post, have they liked it? Did they see it?
It's an endless cycle. Have you ever fallen in love? I like to believe I have. I think you just know when it happens. Slowly, painfully. For something so amazing, falling for someone means endless sleepless nights, stressed ice cream binges, and crying home in the rain.
When your in love with someone, they're flawless in your eyes. There is literally nothing wrong with them. You look up to them, you love all their faults (if you even acknowledge them at all).
It's exciting to hold their hand, it's all you ever want to do. Close proximity likely results in your heart pounding like a running rhino and those crazy ass tingles in your stomach. If you've ever been in love, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
When you hear someone you love tell you that your the greatest thing to happen to them, when they tell you your amazing- it's something crazy, overwhelming, and incredibly joyous. They say I love you and you say I love you more. But sometimes your more right about that then what you originally thought. All those things they said that built you up, sometimes they are all lies.
You've been cut off. Your feelings have been pouring out like a freight train and all of a sudden the tracks are taken from under you. A crash and boom isn't enough to explain it. How cliche of me to say, but a part of you is taken away.
It's disbelief first. Then you get angry. You blame them, the person that came between you and them, and everyone around you. If they really loved you, how could they hurt you like this?
After this you break down. You can't eat. You can't leave your bed. You disgust yourself. What did you do wrong? Was it something you said, or didn't say? Too obsessive? Too ugly? Too fat?
You can't talk to anyone about it. They don't understand, it's awkward. They just end feeling sorry for you. Too much pity.
They've moved on. But you haven't. You probably never will. When you truly fall in love that connection is always there. You try to forget, you avoid them, time passes, but it's still there. Like a string always pulling you back, reminding you of what you can't have and that you'll never be good enough. Everyone forgets, everyone gets over it, moves on to bigger things. You try too as well. But it's on those late nights, those rainy days. You love them. You miss how it felt to be next to them, to talk, to see their face.
An endless cycle.
Jellal called me up the other day. He told me he was falling in love.
Im not sure whether to be happy for him or to brace for the storm. That's the beauty of it I guess. It's painful but it's the best thing in the world.
I was in Target when Jellal called. After our talk, I hung up and walked past the perfume section. I could smell one that reminded me of someone. I wonder if Mira shops here.
*****
Hey sorry everyone, that was kind of a filler chapter. I probably just wasted your time rambling about a stupid topic like that.
Sometimes I just need to let that out, I figure this is a place to do it, right?
That chapter was kind of inspired by the fact I broke up with my girlfriend recently. The whole thing was a bumpy journey for me in the first place. Falling in love with her was a slap in the face as I had to come to terms with who I was as a person. Even though we only dated shortly, the journey for me was way longer, the risk and sacrifice greater.
When I write romance based stories I just want you guys to get the whole picture. I really have now got the idea that real life relationships aren't beautiful and perfect as portrayed in many fanfics/writings in general.
If you didn't like this chapter I'm sorry, I will get to more regular writing by this week and next week. Summer is when I really start writing on here and I only have oNE WEEK OF SCHOOL LEFT BE EXCITED.
Love you all and thank you for reading my shit writing
Xoxo
Julia ;*
YOU ARE READING
Here at Fairy Tail High
Fiksi Penggemar"When it comes to Fairy Tail, there is no normal." What would happen if Fairy Tail was a high school? This modern spin based off the beloved anime tells the story. - Fairy Tail East and West have now come together as one giant campus. New faces ar...
