If You Change Your Mind You Know Where To Find Me (Book Two)

I've Lost Control

Asteria:

"It's your party and you'll cry if you want to?"

I look up to see where the voice is coming from and practically freeze when I see that it's Patrick fucking Stump.

"I-I.....what?" I stammer like an idiot. He let's out a laugh and sits next to me.

"What's wrong? You should be happy! You're at a party!"

"I know...I just...I'm a little..." I can't find the words. How well does Patrick know Brendon? Does he know what he's like? Nothing has happened, I just...I didn't expect that girl to be her.

"Upset, yeah. Is it Brendon?" He asks, interrupting my inner debate.

"I mean, it's old news I just was a little surprised, is all."

"Why do I feel like this is about Caroline?" he asks and scoots a little closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. I let out a bitter laugh and try not to make the fact that I'm wiping my nose too obvious.

"It is. I just. I knew about her, but..."

"Don't tell me he slept with her again..." I stare at Patrick, wondering how much I can say. He searches my eyes for an answer. "He did, didn't he?"

"Yeah. And I mean he's slept with other people before...And I-"

"I know what happened. I know why you guys aren't together right now. I know about Caroline. It's okay to talk about it," he says with a kind smile. 

I sigh with relief and tell him how it felt to find out that the girl that I met this morning was Caroline and that it hurt me more that he went back to her after visiting me than it does that he slept with another girl. I tell him how exhausted I am and how I just want us to work and he listens the entire time.

"Asteria, stop bothering Patrick Stump," I hear Davey laugh as he approaches me.

"What do you want? You're another asshole," I say in a weak voice. It really hasn't been my day which is sad considering I'm surrounded by my idols. 

"Look, I want to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just blow up at you like that."

"Yeah, well apology not accepted you ass."

"Hey," he says as he takes a seat on the other side of me. "I didn't mean it. I was a little stressed out and pissed off that he got this party together last minute and I was pretty pissed that he found out you were out of the hospital before I did."

"Why does that matter so much to you?" I ask. He bites his lip and hesitates before answering.

"I don't know Asteria. But I'm sorry." I roll my eyes. 

"I write songs about girls that can roll their eyes like that," Patrick says and I start laughing. I bury my face in my hands. I can't believe he just said that. "Look, I know it's rough but I have never seen him try this hard Asteria. Please be patient with him. I know it's a lot to ask, but I really think that when he gets his shit figured out it's going to be worth it." 

Something about hearing it from Patrick, whether it's those precious eyes or his small smile or his freaking fedora, makes me feel like I should be trying harder. 

"I guess. I mean who else is going to put up with his shit?" I laugh and Patrick joins me. 

We crack a few more jokes and even Davey starts laughing with us. We see Brendon coming towards us and at first I'm happy to see him, but I notice he's stumbling and holding a bottle of whiskey in his hands and I tense. This can't be good...we all stop laughing right away.