If You Change Your Mind You Know Where To Find Me (Book Two)

Just Another LA Devotee

Brendon:

I knew it was going to be her. I need to cut things off. I try to hide that I'm reading the text but I can feel how tense Asteria is over me hiding the screen.

C: hope it's going well

It'd be going better if I wasn't an asshole. I quickly return my phone to my pocket and take Asteria's hand. I have to make a therapy appointment when we get back. I need to learn how to be dedicated to just one person. To only Asteria. 

When we make it back to the hotel room she lets out a loud sigh and throws herself onto the bed, bouncing up slightly before sinking into the mattress. I can't help but laugh, she's such a little kid sometimes. I walk over and take her shoes off for her.

"Thanks, Bee," I hear her call out in a muffled voice, her face still settled in the comforter. I kiss the top of her head and lie down next to her.

"Can I show you something?" I ask and she picks her head up with a smile.

"Yes!" she says happily and nerves build up in my stomach. 

My hands are shaking as I search for the file on my phone and by the time I find it my organs are in knots. I take a deep breath and press play on the mp3 titled LA Devotee. She raises an eyebrow at me and I try to identify her reaction. As soon as my vocals come in she lets out a loud gasp and in a split second goes from lying on her stomach to jumping up and sitting cross legged leaning her head towards my phone. Her mouth hangs wide open and she looks at me, wide eyed, but doesn't say a word. As the song comes to an end she places her hand over her mouth.

"Is that going to be on the album?" she asks quietly and I laugh and nod. 

"It's so different!" she says as she places her hands on the sides of her face. I get nervous.

"Do you like it?" I ask shakily.

"Brendon, I love it!"

My nerves settle but I can't work up the courage to tell her that it's about her. Well...partially about her. I'm worried that she'll catch on that some of it isn't...

"Can I listen to it again?" she asks happily.

"When it's released and you buy it on iTunes," I say with a smirk and she smacks my arm. I play it through one more time and she hums along, kicking her feet to the rhythm. 

"I'm glad you like it," I tell her once the song is done playing. She nods quickly. 

"I love it." She leans in and kisses me lightly before hopping off of the bed. "I'm going to change into my pajamas."

I'm relieved when she doesn't ask to hear more. I don't know that I'm ready for her to hear a track about Caroline...I'm worried she'll figure it out.

She goes into the restroom with her pajamas bundled into her arms and I can't help but laugh. I've seen you naked, Asteria.

She comes out of the restroom after a few minutes of getting ready for bed and rubs her eyes. I get the familiar sensation of butterflies when I see the way her over sized shirt hangs over her and how messy her bun is. Something about it makes her look so small and vulnerable. I get up to take off my shirt and jeans and go into the restroom to brush my teeth. When I walk out she's curled up under the covers. I assume she's asleep but am proven wrong when I get into bed and she wraps her arms around my torso. I adjust myself so that I'm able to get comfortable and start rubbing her back.

"Sleepy?" I ask quietly. 

"Mhm," she grumbles. I kiss her forehead and she scoots closer to me. 

I don't realize how tired I am until my body warms up with hers and I fall asleep without realizing it.

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"Brendon, stop dancing on the escalator flat! We're going to miss our flight home!" Asteria shouts as I allow myself ten more seconds of moon walking before giving up and letting the flat pull me towards her. 

"You're mean," I say with a laugh and wrap my arms around her waist before kissing her on the cheek.

"You're a child," she laughs back and we start heading towards our terminal.

While we wait to get on the plane, we watch the hustle of LAX and every time I do something to bother her she threatens to pull my hood off and scream 'Look everyone! It's the singer of Panic! at the Disco!' and I quickly stop. She thanks me for the trip and for letting her friends meet us for the day for the five hundredth time and then talks about the last few days at the resort. I was glad that we had stayed for a few days. I wanted her to do everything and see every show and she loved it all so much she couldn't choose a favorite. When we board she starts to nervously shift as she tucks her carry on under the seat.

"You okay?" I ask. I remember her being very nervous on the flight to LA but she wasn't the way she is now.

"I just, um. I have to read my dad's letter," she says quietly. I forgot that he wrote her... 

"I'm here for you, okay? Literally, right next to you," I say with a half smile, but instead of laughing she gives me a weak smile and nod and buckles her seat belt before everyone else has even boarded. As soon as we take off she looks out the window and a part of me knows she misses California. A part of me has always known. 

She takes the envelope out and turns to the third page. I watch her face completely change and try to read what she's thinking. She just seems sad...Like there's a part of her that's never going to be whole.

A/N: Hey all! I'm sorry it's so short but I really wanted to post an update since it's been so long! Another one will be posted soon! Hopefully by the end of this week but realistically by the end of next week. Hope y'all are doing well <3 Thank you so much for reading and voting and commenting! <3 <3 <3 also some of y'all saw this as untitled 😂😭 can I trade mistakes