If You Change Your Mind You Know Where To Find Me (Book Two)

I'm Not Trying to Hurt You, I Just Love to Speak

Asteria:

On our way to the diner Brendon won't take his eyes off of his phone and I can feel my stomach tense. Davey breaks me from my thoughts of whether or not I'll ever stop being so paranoid that he's texting Caroline.

"Asteria, we need to talk about-"

"Your chest tattoo?" I ask, my lips pursed and arms crossed. 

"Stop giving me so much attitude, you literally beat me," he says and my heart sinks. Brendon and Pete turn their heads to him but don't say anything. We all know it's true and I feel guilt consume me. "I got it two months ago."

"Two months?!"

"Asteria, what's the big deal? You have tattoos, Brendon has tatto-"

"It's that he didn't tell me anything!" I say loudly. 

"Because then you would have wanted to go and I didn't want to be on a table without a shirt on and you sitting next to me for four hours!" He shouts back. Brendon glares between Davey and me but catches himself and goes back to his phone.

"Fair enough," I sigh. "Davey, I really am sorry."

"Stop. I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about your dad." He groans, obviously still trying to figure out how he feels about it himself.

"I don't," I sigh.

"Bug, listen. I know that you mean well. I know that this all comes from a good place in your heart, but I think we can both agree on the fact that this isn't a good idea. Especially not right now." His tone is sympathetic and I try not to get upset.

"What about after the trial?" The car stays silent. Brendon puts his phone in his pocket and looks out the window, Pete pretends to be focused on driving, and Davey rubs his eyes.

"Asteria, did you actually talk to him?" Davey asks. I shift in my seat.

"No...I asked to see if he was still in the same prison..."

"So let me get this straight, and you know that I'm saying these things because I love you." He rubs a palm over his face. "I mean I really fucking love you, bug. Please remember that when I say what I'm about to say because I can't think of a better way to say this."

I nod, waiting for whatever it is he's about to say, feeling his anger and knowing it isn't going to be good. Brendon keeps his body shifted towards the window but I can see his gaze falling on Davey. 

"After going to a trial, with the entire focus of putting men who tried to rape you and you literally attacked you  in prison, you want to go to a prison to visit the man who abandoned you and your mom and whose first words when he held you were-"

"Okay! Please, Davey, stop!" I shout and I feel tears running down my face. I'm surprised when he looks in the rear view mirror and I see tears in his eyes too. 

"I'm sorry, Asteria. I don't want to watch you hurt anymore. You don't have to listen to me, but I really hope you do because I just can't watch you fall apart." 

The car slows to a stop and I realize that we've gotten to the restaurant. I can feel myself letting out full sobs now and when Brendon hears he leans over and pulls me into his chest.

"We're here," Pete chimes uncomfortably. I let out a small laugh.

"Can you guys just give me a minute?" I ask weakly. 

"Well if you're giving her a minute, I need one, too. It's not like I can just stand up straight in three seconds like the rest of you," Davey says with a weak voice and Pete gives Brendon a quick look and then gets out of the car. Brendon kisses the top of my head.

"Take your time," he whispers before stepping out and joining Pete next to the diner's door. 

I take deep breaths and try to calm down. Davey struggles to swallow down his own tears. When I catch my breath he makes eye contact with me in the rear view mirror.

"Strawberry milkshake?" He asks with a small smile. I give him an equally small nod.

"Strawberry milkshake."

I step out and help Davey get out of the car. Brendon watches me and gives me a small smile before coming to help me and we slowly make our way into the restaurant, excited to have another unnecessarily dramatic night settle in.