Blackmoon's Mate

All I felt Was Pain

Aurora
It's been a month since the day I shifted and things are going great. We have little gatherings and I get to know the pack members all over again and it's amazing. Everyone is starting to love and trust me again. Sarah and Jason on the other hand seem to think that I am going to run off at any moment and leave them all. Today is the day I decide to go over their house and sort everything out. I knocked on the door holding a plate stacked with cookies. "I'll get it mommy!," a voice said. The door was opened by a pretty little girl with awesome hair. "Hello there, I'm Aurora I'm here to see your parents," I say on my knees so that we are eye to eye. At the door Sarah is glaring at me, "Sweetie go inside while mommy talks to the omega," she says to her daughter. The little girl waves bye and goes inside the house soon after Jason comes out. Before they even have the change to speak I started my speech. "I know you guys probably hate me and feel as if I will just get up and leave. I just want you to know that I wouldn't do that. I left the first time and you guys welcomed me home. I was kidnapped the second time and you guys welcomed me home willing to help me. I left the third time for a long period of time and you guys can't allow yourself to feel the way it felt the first time. I walked away from you guys 2 times already. That means I have broken the trust between us twice and I don't plan on doing it again. I'm trying here guys. Everyone but you and Tyler have spent time with me and have allowed me to earn the trust back. When I come around you treat me as if I'm not there. You don't want to trust me and in all honesty I'm getting tired of trying to water a seed that won't even stay in the ground. Just say what you have to say to me. Say it and be done so we can move forward with this," I finish looking them both in the eyes. Sarah is the first to speak, "I hate that you left. You are suck a fucking idiot! We wanted to help you and be there for you. Tyler went through a lot while you were gone to find you. He built a botanical garden because he knew how much nature meant to you. He spend thousands of dollars just wanting to make sure you were happy but you left before you even let us try. You broke his heart to the point the only way he could function is just by being cold all the damn time. He stopped smiling, laughing, and anything that had to do with being happy after you left for Spain. You know us being the Beta couple we felt his pain the most? He felt betrayed and bitter. He was so angry and hurt he went for runs constantly trying to keep his cool. I hate you. We don't need you. I don't want you here and I'm sure Tyler doesn't either. You've hurt him so much over the past year that I'm surprised he hasn't rejected you. You are worthless to this pack now. Just leave before Tyler is the one to tell you these words next. No one wants you here. Absolutely no one will care if you leave now. They'd just hate you more for allowing them to trust you," she says this the entire time looking at me with pure hatred and rage. She slams the door in my face and I let everything she said sink in. She doesn't want me here. Tyler might not want me here. Those thoughts brings me back to when I was captured. They would tell me this, that Tyler didn't want me. Soon all the nasty words they said to me is swarming in my head and I am crying and running. I find my blade and run. I find the gardens Tyler built and go inside. Even nature and my mantras can't make me feel better. If my mate doesn't want me there is no reason for me to live. I cut and cut until my arms are bleeding. Then I cut my thighs and forearms until I am slowly bleeding from each wound. I lay down and let the breeze hit my body. I can feel myself healing but I don't want to heal. I want to die in the beautiful garden made by the one I love. I cut the ones that have healed and then cut anywhere else I can without dying fast. I allow myself to heal slightly so that it would take longer to die. The physical pain I am feeling isn't even a flicker compared to the fire that is my emotional pain. My body isn't numb anymore. I have healed to much and I just continue to cut myself until I am covered in my blood, fresh and dried blood. The animals and plant life around me soothe me enough to allow me to go to my favorite memories. When my mom came home and we thought she'd be okay. When my dad took us to ice cream and we looked at the stars he told me one day that's where we'd be. The moments Tyler and I shared play through my head and causes more pain to move through my body. A painful reminder of what it feels like to be alive. I get up and cut myself all on my stomach, wrists, thighs and a small cut on my neck. I watch as the blood pools around my feet and I just sob. I let all of my sadness come out. I worked so hard to escape the words that haunted me and now a huge reminder brings me to death. I know Sarah is right. No one wants me here. I grab the paper and pen I brought with me and begin writing. "Sarah you're right. I'll be gone by the time anyone reads this but I'm sorry. Sarah told me the truth and this is me accepting the fact that when I am gone my memory will have already been tainted. Tyler, I release you. Live every moment, laugh everyday and love beyond words," after I place the paper down I cut the vein in my arm and embrace the pain. Before the darkness came I heard an angel. I looked up and was being held by Tyler who was crying and running with me in his arms. With all the energy I had left I said, "I told you it might not happen in my lifetime or in yours but Moon Goddess was I wrong. It happened the day you found me. I have always been in love with you. Now go love someone else," soon after the darkness surrounded me.
Sarah let out them claws! Man Aurora tried so hard to get better but hopefully in her next life she'll get it. Don't hate me. Maybe Tyler will find someone new. What did you guys think? I'd like to know so comment,vote and share. Love ya my lovelies