Blackmoon's Mate

Prisoners in Our Own Minds

Aurora's POV
I've been here the past 3 weeks and I absolutely hate it here. I'm getting used to the beatings and emotional torture so that isn't even that bad. The beatings last anywhere from an hour to three hours worth of pain. My heart and mind have now been trained to just shut down all emotions and feelings including pain and love. At night I wonder if Tyler is looking for me, if he longs for me and misses me as I do him. I wonder who he has in his bed if anyone at all. I would sit and replay our last moments together when I had hope he would find me. I stopped last week when I realized if he could find me he would've already. My uncle and his father have told me that he has found someone else and she is now the Luna of his pack. Hearing this is what made me loose my hope in him finding me. I spend my days getting beat, seldom eating and staring at the blank walls wishing for death or an escape. *Trigger warning*They gave me a blade and at first made me cut myself telling me it would help with the emotional pain I was feeling. At first I was forced but now it was second nature for me. After beatings I would cut and cut until my thighs and wrists were covered in blood. Each cut felt like a breeze of fresh cold air was moving through me, the pain of the cut and everything else overpowered by this little feeling. Once they saw I was cutting on my own the beatings died down and the words were cranked to 1,000,000,000. I never thought two people who would have once been considered good men would end like this. Sometimes the pain they cause me makes me feel the pain themselves were subjected to. Some nights I cry out for the love they lost and beg that the hatred that replaced the love would go away. Free the tortured souls that have now began to torture me. One day I realized that I may just be a prisoner of my own mind. We all are if you think about it. We hurt our hearts then try and fix it with our minds and mentality. Someone who is emotionally abused by her mother has a hurting heart and a bruised mind. Simply telling herself she's beautiful will not make her feel better if such a belief isn't in her heart. Someone who has a dark, empty void in their heart can't simply talk to themselves in their mind and fill that void. A suffering heart cannot be healed with an optimistic mind, simply covered up and made look better. The inside will still look the same, a tattered heart with make up on top. Then we think we are healed, but if you see what messed you up in the first place the perfect heart you conjured returns to its true form. I am a prisoner of my mind with a tattered heart. My heart is torn in two, the other half with my mate. As I come out of my thoughts I look up and see the two people who have enjoyed causing me pain. It's time for torture, and now it doesn't even seem that bad.
Tyler's POV
I am completely lost without her. I have been looking everywhere and can't seem to figure out where my beautiful mate is. I have since gone back to the heartless man I was before and shut off my emotions so I can focus on both my pack and finding her. Everyone around me feels my pain and anger and have been doing their best to help out. Jason has been a big help as well as his mate Sarah. They help with the pack things that aren't necessarily top priority. At night I can hear her thoughts sometimes, when her wolf is at its strongest and cries out to me. I heard her this morning as she talked about being a prisoner in her own mind as well as the cutting herself. This infuriated me as well as made me want to cry. My beautiful mate covered in scars that she willingly puts on her body. I feel the pain when she does cut or when they beat her which doesn't happen as often. They have chosen to abuse her the one way that isn't visible to the naked eye. They have decided to inject their poisonous words in her mind and also her heart. My beautiful mate is being broken over and over again. That night when she lost faith in my finding her I cried out to the Moon Goddess. I have never felt so heartbroken and helpless before and I hated that feeling. When she ran away I wasn't this bad I suppose, I knew she was safe and unharmed. Now I constantly have to go on runs and most of the search parties because I don't like this feeling. The other packs have also been trying to find her and I am grateful for that. The only Alpha who really rubs me wrong is the Alpha of the Red Moon pack. He is Aurora's uncle but hasn't been in her life for years. His pack claims he was attached to her mother because she looked so much like his dead mate. I have a feeling he's hiding something from me but can't figure out what it is. Other Alphas and Luna's send their love and gifts to me but he always tells me I can speak to him about the pain I feel not having her with me. He says that he understands such pain and that it's okay to talk to him about it. Afterward that I have tried my best to avoid being near him. He called me after the first week without her and told me he had been running when he smelled her briefly. He said he followed the scent which lead him to a cave near the edge of my territory. My men and I went there and we found her clothes covered her blood as well as a video of my father talking to me while hurting her. I need to stop thinking of this. I poured myself a cup of Hennessy and drown it in a few seconds. As I poured my second cup Jason ran in and said a few words that rendered me speechless, "We found our Luna!", and with that I finished pouring it, drank it then said "It's time to get what's mine,".
Hiya guys! I decided to make this chapter a bit emotional. I'm sure a few of us struggle and I just want you guys to know I'm here for you! Welcome to the island of misfit toys. Ill update soon. I wonder if he gets to her in time...