Love Always, Jane.

Chapter Twelve

Unfortunately for Maura the case ended sooner than she thought. She needed more time to plan what she was going to say to Jane, and that is how she found herself standing here in front of Jane with her mouth shut.

"Maura, I didn't think you'd come over." Jane said, looking at the quiet honey blonde standing in the doorway of her apartment.

"I didn't either," Maura admitted. "but I have things I need to say."

"Come in." Jane said stepping aside and letting Maura in.

"I...I need you to sit on your couch and not say anything, just let me speak okay? Please don't interrupt me just.. Just let me say what I need to say."

"Okay." Jane said hesitantly sitting on her couch.

"Okay." Maura took a deep breath. "When I was fifteen, I met someone way more popular than me. Someone older than me. I became friends with this person over some unhealthy cheese fries stuck in a vending machine. This person became my best friend. We were inseparable, she meant the world to me. She was everything to me. She was there with me through so much. So so much. I would get dirty looks for hanging out with someone so popular but I didn't care, I didn't care because I always knew she had my back. We were together all the time, at sport events or fine art shows or at each other's houses. We were inseparable, then came graduation." By now Maura had silent tears streaming down her face. "That girl never spoke a word to me after graduation. Never gave me the time of day.. Never told me why. I was fifteen, well I had turned sixteen at the time. I was sixteen and vulnerable. I was broken-hearted and I was scared. I did everything I could to forget the girl. I switched schools, I packed up any thing that had something to do with that high school. I even threw out certain outfits. I was afraid, and I was ashamed of the thoughts I was thinking and the pain I had inflicted on myself." Maura said and by the end she was sobbing and could barely stand, but wasn't backing down.

Meanwhile Jane sat there quietly, tears streaming down her face, not knowing what to say. "I'm sorry Maura."

"Tell me Jane," Maura said coming and sitting beside Jane. "Tell me why you shut me out."

Jane was suddenly scared, she couldn't tell Maura, not anymore.

"I-..I can't." Jane said quietly.

"Yes Jane you can. It's just me, just me and you. God Jane please tell me please. I-I can't do this anymore. Please I have to know what I did."

Jane bit her lip.

"Jane..Jane are you okay?" Jane's brother Frankie asked her as he peaked in her room.

"What? Oh yeah I'm fine." She wiping her eyes as she reassured her bother who was only a couple of years younger than her.

"Janie you're crying." Frankie said sitting beside his sister on her window sill.

"Really Frankie it's fine." She smiled at her little brother. She was always the closest with him. She loved all her family, but her and Frankie got each other. They usually told each other everything.

"Talk to me Jane. Is this about Maura?" He asked and Jane couldn't help it, she lost it.

"Y-yes."

"It's okay Janie." He assured. "What happened? You can tell me. I won't tell Ma or Pop okay? I promise. I won't tell Tommy either."

For whatever reason, Jane blurted it out. "I'm in love with her."

Frankie grabbed her hand. "Tell her than Janie. Tell her before you lose her."

"I already lost her." Jane cried and her brother hugged her.

"What do you mean?"

"I refused to talk to her after graduation. I thought I was protecting myself but I didn't even think, 'this must be killing her'. Maybe she doesn't care as much as I do, but it's killing me Frankie."

"Jane." Frankie sighed. "It's not too late. You don't leave for college for another two weeks. You can fix it."

"I can't Frankie." Jane whispered. "I can't just pop back up."

"Do you think you'll ever tell her? If you get a second chance?"

"No."

Frankie hugged his sister, not really sure what else to say, but he did his best. He sat there for another hour holding his big sister while she cried and complained to him about a girl she used to know.

No one knew but Frankie and Korsak.

"Maura you'll hate me." Jane cried. She was honestly scared. Terrified even.

"I would never hate you Jane please, please just tell me."

Jane was at a lost. She'd never felt so vulnerable.. So exposed. She felt weak. She didn't like it, she didn't like how Maura made her feel but at the same time she loved every bit of it.

"I can't." Jane said looking down.

"Ugh!" Maura said smacking her hands down beside her then standing up and going on the other side of the coffee-table. "I can't keep doing this
Jane. I'm trying, I'm trying." Maura said, tears falling more freely.

Jane just looked down. Opening her mouth and closing it over and over until she finally broke the silence. "I know you are."

"I'm...I'm leaving." Maura said exasperated-like, and walking towards the door. She didn't want to, no she wanted to stay and fight. Figure out what was wrong with the girl she was madly in love with, but she knew if she stayed she was just going to break down and lose it. Maybe even say hurtful things to the girl.

"No, Maur please." Jane's eyes widened in panic.

"Stop Jane." Maura said. "Just stop." She begin to open the door only to have it slammed shut by Janes hand. Jane was so close behind her Maura could feel her breath on the back of her neck and shivered. "P-please let me leave."

"Please don't leave." Jane begged. "Please Maur this is so hard for me and if you l-leave it'll be so much h-harder." The tears were falling more freely for Jane as well and Maura turned around, trapped between Jane and the door.

In all the time Maura Isles knew Jane she had never seen the beautiful brunette break like this. It quite honestly frightens her. "Okay Jane." Maura nodded slowly. "Okay."

Jane nodded and then stopped, like she was contemplating something. Then she did the only logical thing the women could.

She kissed the girl she had been in love with for almost eleven years.